Another Year Gone By...

The time has come again, to bid goodbye to another year.  I am always amazed at how quickly each year passes, and this year is no different.  If any thing, it sailed by much more swiftly than I would have liked.  I still have undone business to take care of!  I still have resolutions to fulfill!  Probably because I am still, even at 37 years old, such a work in progress. 

My life in 2006, in a nutshell...

Was good.

There were days of sorrow and loss....  Followed ALWAYS by days of happiness and peace.  I saw you all go through much of the same.  I have bonded with many of you, all in unique and special ways.  I have been blessed with friendships that I would never have found had it not been for our journals.  And I am thankful, every day, for each and every one of you.

May 2007 bring you many blessings of peace and love ~ each and every day.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Revealed

 

 

             

              Haven't done one of these in a while...

 

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
    Ugh...

2. How much cash do you have on you?
    About  $.37

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
    Shore.

4. Favorite planet?
    Well, it USED to be Pluto....

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
    Andrea

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
    Vibrate

7. What shirt are you wearing?
    A gray sweatshirt

8. Do you label yourself?
    I wear many hats... 

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
    Black socks

10. Bright or Dark Room?
    Candlelight.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
    There were two that I saw, and they both are fascinating individuals!

 

12. What does your watch look like?
    I don't own a watch.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
    Chatting with a friend.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
    Merry Christmas!

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
    Probably an hour away.. I haven't the foggiest.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?

    Love
   

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
    My daughter as she said goodnight.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
    The purple, furry rug in my daughter's room.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
    None.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
    I have about 4 rolls of film that have been sitting on my fridge for a year. 

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
    24 ~ as a new mom.

22. Your worst enemy?
    I like to think that I haven't any...

23. What is your current desktop picture?
    My children's beautiful smiling faces.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
    "Goodnight....  I love you more."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
    I think with a million bucks I could learn to fly. 

26. Do you like someone?
    I like many people!

27. The last song you listened to?

   "Throwing It All Away"  Genesis
   

28. What time of day were you born?
   6:58am 

29. What’s your favorite number?
    8

30. Where did you live in 1997?
    In the next town over!

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
    Unfortunately... 

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
    I hope not, jealousy hurts. 

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
    I was aiding a severely handicapped child in her preschool classroom.  

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
    Curse under my breath...

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
    I certainly always try to be.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
    On my hip perhaps... some place hidden and revealed only on special occassions!

 

 

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
    Cantonese

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
    I'd walk to the ends of the earth. 

39. Are you touchy feely?
    That all depends...

40. What’s your life motto?
    Never lose hope.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
    Clothing of some kind...  Well, 99% of the time, anyway.

42. What’s your favourite town/city?
    Wildwood Crest, NJ

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
    A movie, popcorn and a soda!

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
    Years ago.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?
    Absolutely.... not.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
    I've heard he's had a difficult time in life, and hope the best for him.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
    Only about four generations.  Although, we have recently found many documents and old glass negatives that I am still sifting through.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
    Fancy?  I guess Christmas Eve.  I wore a dark green, velvety shirt and black pants.  Not all that fancy, really.

 

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
    Not at the moment...

50. Have you been burned by love?
    Very much so.  Haven't we all?

 

Investing In Beauty

"The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.

If you ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it.

Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty,

it will remain with you all the days of your life."

Frank Lloyd Wright

    Christmas has once again rushed in and out like the ocean's wave...  I look back on the day with a smile, knowing how truly blessed I am and how blessed we are as a family.  I try to see things through the eyes of my children.  It wasn't as easy this year, for some reason.  I have been selfish lately, ignoring so many of the beautiful blessings in my life and feeling an ache that I know I should not be feeling.  So where did that ignorance bring me?  To an ugly place that I do not wish to revisit any time soon.  I was looking through lost and lonely eyes, when in fact, I am surrounded by love.  Even when it is shown so softly that it is barely visible, it is there.  In a smile.  In a thought.  In the warm glow of a candle.  In the soft music playing in the next room.  In the light of each of my daughters' eyes and in the chimes of laughter as they open the next treasure...  In the touch of a hand that truly expresses kindness and openness.  In the smile of a friend.   Beauty.  Life without it is simply not an option.  There should always be colorful lights glittering within your heart.  If there isn't, you aren't looking deep enough.    Mostly I am writing this for myself.  When I feel that the light inside me has dimmed, I will come back to this and try to feel and see the beauty in my life as I should.  Perhaps that will be my New Year's resolution for 2007.  To never let go of the beauty which surroundsme.  To never turn my back on a setting sun and to always pause to smell the flowers... or, more appropriately for now, the newly fallen snow.    May your days be merry and bright!                  

Merry Christmas!

Wishing you all a most magical and wonderful Christmas filled with beautiful memories to last a lifetime....

"Do You Want To Know the Truth?"

Does the greeting that questions your well being make you cringe?  That person passing by ~ that you may or may not know ~ who, perhaps means well, nods with a smile and politely asks,

"How are you?"

Well, I know that it annoys many people, but I have to admit, I am one to ask.  I don't ask as a greeting, but as a genuine concern for others.  What I really like is when someone answers me with,

 "Do you really want to know?"

Well, yeah... That's IS why I asked, and if a moment can be spared in the hustle and bustle long enough for you to tell me, I will be happy to listen.  If not, stay in touch.  Lord knows I've needed someone to offer an open ear and heart many a time...

So this happened tonight.  I had spent a VERY long afternoon and evening shopping with my daughter's, trying to find just the right outfit for Amanda to wear to her junior high concert tomorrow night.  Yeah, I said tomorrow.  I'm also a self-professed procrastinater...  so sue me.  ::smile:: Two and a half hours and six stores later, we finally managed to find an outfit that she was semi happy with.  We stopped for a quick bite to eat (another fiasco that I won't even get into...) and then headed home.  But WAIT.  I forgot to buy something to share at our staff Holiday celebration tomorrow ~ food and socks for the swap.  So I drop them off and head BACK out yet again...      keep in mind that I hadn't been home since 7:30 this morning, and I was BEAT. 

So I go to the grocery store first, and I happen to run into someone that I have had, oh, maybe four random conversations with in the time I have known him.  Never anything more than a "hello, how are you?"  Who was this person, you might ask? 

My children's school bus driver.

So we see each other, smile, and say the usual.

"Hi!  How are you?"  We both say, smiling politely.  Then he stopped and turned back to me.

"Do you want to know the truth?"  He asked.

"Yes, of course I do.  Do YOU?"  I dared.

"Well, if you have a moment, let's talk."  He suggested...

So we stood there, among the lettuce heads and broccoli spears, spilling our hearts out.  He began by telling me how wonderful his life has been since so and so came into his life.  That he just can't believe that after all this time (he is in his fifties) that he has found The One.  It has been a struggle, he shared, for the last couple of years, and now the fates have finally smiled.  As he spoke of his love for her, he had to stop...He was crying.

He asked me if I was okay.  Like I said, I dared to ask the same question of him...  Did he want to know the truth?  At first, I simply smiled.  Probably a little too weakly, because I had actually been wiping tears out in the parking lot only moments earlier.  He knew.  He held his hand out to me and told me that I was so young and beautiful (<cough>) and deserved to find happiness the same way that he had.  I was so moved, right there in the produce aisle.  Honestly, I was.  After a time we simply shook hands and went about our way... 

I have friends, I really do.  But I have isolated myself from people for far too long, and I have opened up to very few about what is going on in my life.  And a virtual stranger touches my heart out of nowhere. 

If you build walls around yourself to keep from being hurt than no one worth the stars can get in either.  I might need a VERY heavy hammer, but I am bound and determined to break down these walls...

Stay safe, and happy shopping!

 

 

 

 

Colorgenics

Okay.  How did these strangers find their way into my heart and soul?  This is just a tad bit creepy...

 

You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care (um....) - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realize that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited  (<GASP>), but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realize all your ambitions.

Check out YOUR colorgenics profile:

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm

Decorating These Pages!

GREETINGS TO YOU ALL!!!

Just wanted to share some of my holiday decorations with you ~  

A friend stopped by an gave the girls this VERY cute animation last night:

My angel...

Okay, so it has some holes...  My kids picked this beauty out!  They were nice enough to allow me to choose the wreath, though.  *smile*

Wishing you all many blessings!

(Thank you all for the blessing of your friendships ~  and thank you to Lisa and Gretchen for the cards!!  Mine are coming, I promise!)

 

 

 

Let Life Come...

I am truly a woman made up of contradictions.  Probably that is why I spend so much of my time being utterly confused.   I can be happy as a pig in crap one moment and crying like an infant with a diaper full of it in the very next.  I can be driving around, taking in the beautiful holiday scenery, smiling and singing along with the Christmas carols playing on the radio, then sitting at home on a quiet Saturday evening trying to hide my uncontrollable tears while we watch Cindy Lou Who sing,
"Where Are You Christmas" in The Grinch.  Good God, where is my head?

********************************************************

I have a terrible habit of expressing myself and then deleting it all.  It's not that I don't want to share what is going on in my life with you....  I suppose that's because I have a difficult time accepting the thoughts that come from my heart and my mind, and putting them out there in plain view (even that of my own) is often frightening.  Sometimes words can change everything, and not in the way that we would have wished or planned.

I have deleted much of this entry because after seeing the words I had written, I was disgusted to see what little value I place on my life sometimes.  Instead of focusing on the good, on all my wonderful blessings, I chose to look at the hardships...  It's Christmas time.  I should be feeling the glow from within and savoring it's warmth.  Some days are just a little harder to feel it than others...  I'm only human, after all. 

I plan to take the girls to get our tree tomorrow.  They're very excited that I've decided to go with a real tree again this year.  Perhaps that will help.

In fact, I know it will.

*smile*

 

(inspiring words previously posted in January 2006)

Let Life Come...

Let life come to you, the joys and the problems, the victories and the setbacks, the magnificent beauty and the frustrating difficulties.  Let life come, take it all in, and make the very most of it.  Don't fight it or force it, don't hide from it or run away, let life come as it will.  Let life come and experience the rich, unique flavor of every moment.  Rather than waiting for things to get better or wishing things had not gone the way they did, let life continue to come and live it as it does.  Let life come and learn from it, grow with it, become your best through whatever comes your way.  Welcome each new moment and open your eyes to the positive value that it brings.  Sometimes that value is obvious, and other times it is hidden, yet always it is there.  Let life come, with all its treasures and all its shortcomings.
Let life come, every bit of it, and be truly, gloriously alive...

Ralph Marston

 

 

 

 

Holiday Favorites

I've been thinking about some favorite holiday traditions and such, and thought I'd post some of them here.  There have been some slight snow flurries on and off today, and I took out a couple more decorations, so I guess the spirit has decided to move me... perhaps push me is more like it!  I haven't even begun to start getting ready, probably due to this illness that has lingered so long.  I am finally starting to feel better...

There are countless other thoughts and events relating to Christmas that I will share as December rolls on ~ can't begin to fit all those thoughts into one entry.  Wouldn't want to anyway... the spirit should be felt all year!

SO, without further adu...  "These are a few of my favorite things....."

Holiday songs:

1.   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

2.  Merry Christmas

3.  Carol of the Bells  (George Winston's version in particular)

 

Christmas Movies:

1.  Prancer

2. Holiday in Your Heart

3. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (will never let go of this one!)

 

Holiday traditions:

1. Decorating our home and tree while listening to Christmas music.  We light candles until it's finished and plug in the lights only after all is said and done and the angel rests atop the tree.  I love to see all the tree ornaments from years past (some from my own childhood) and feel all the memories each special one brings.

2. Christmas Eve at Mom and Dad's...  All the special "Christmas only" hors' derves and the warm and happy atmosphere that my mom always creates no matter what is going on in our lives.  We have had oyster stew for dinner every Christmas Eve since I was a little girl.  Growing up,  I was (and still am ;o) ) always allowed to open one gift from under the tree, a tradition I have happily passed on to my own girls (one they are particularly fond of as well!).  Mailee and Amanda also pull the wishbone from our Thanksgiving turkey.

3.  Going to see the "Festival of Lights" display at La Salette.

 

Favorite Holiday memories:

1.  The one Christmas Eve night that we spent at my Nana's and Grandpa's house when I was a little girl.  I went to bed and awoke in the night to see Santa brush by the bedroom window...  I'm not kidding.  I have shared this story with almost everyone who knows me.  I will never forget it.  Don't even THINK of telling me it was a dream!  ::smiling::

2.  When, as a little girl, I plodded down the stairs Christmas morning to find that Santa had left me a stuffed Winnie the Pooh Bear, unwrapped, sitting atop the many presents and eagerly awaiting my cries and warmest hugs.  I slept with him for, oh, forever...  He is sitting in my daughter's bedroom ~ a bit worn you could say ~ but still just as loved.

3.  My Mom, sitting quietly on my bed, reassuring me with all that she had, that Santa Claus was real, and that she would listen for the sleigh bells on Christmas Eve until she was no longer able.  Thanks Mom.

 

Wishing you many happy holiday memories and new ones yet to come.