There simply aren't words to express my appreciation and gratitude for the many gifts in my life. Gifts which include friends both near and far, who are there for me and offer words of support and a shoulder to lean (or cry) on when times are (or seem) tough. I know that my previous post gave at least one or two of you reason to question our closeness and/or your place in my heart, and for that I deeply apologize. It was never my intention to place blame or hurt on anyone, but to simply share a moment of disorderly thinking and internal suffocation that I happened to have awakened upon without warning.
I value each and every person who has touched and continues to touch my life, as well as savor the memories of those who have come and gone. While I never wish anyone to feel as if they are alone in the world even for a moment, it was also somewhat calming to read comments that were left by those who could relate to how I was feeling in some way. Yes, we all have those days, when we have to carry ourselves through with a smile ~ no matter how we may be feeling on the inside. Let's face it, we all feel just a little empty sometimes. Even when we know ~ if we really take a moment and think ~ that each and every one of us is blessed in ways we forget to be thankful for, when faced with even the smallest of circumstantial difficulty.
A reader and friend (who deserves a tight hug) emailed me and offered the idea that perhaps if I opened myself up to others a little more, I might find acceptance and understanding where I least expect it ~ particularly by those who truly count. It reminded me of the saying (and Maria, this one's for you): "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter". There are many facets to my personality. Many unresolved issues, complications and contradictions in my life. Those of you who have followed my journal and have come to know me through my words KNOW how moody and puzzled I can be at times. One dear friend even went so far as to call me "mysterious" and is probably still wondering where I've been hiding myself.
I still feel that writing is a very therapeutic and cleansing way to express oneself, and we all have different reasons and ways of doing it. I judge NO ONE, for what they write, how they write or why. And how lucky am I, to have such thoughtful and supportive people along for the ride, to share my own personal and sometimes cloudy journey through life with? Extremely.
Thank you.
(coming soon: Job, family, Bell's, creative muse and LIFE update, while I work on that opening myself up thing... ::smiles::)