Blue and Broken... (skies and roads, that is... =) )

Gee...  If only I had downloaded these beautiful blue skies yesterday!  Oh well.  The most fitting of proverbs in my life these days (not including the frnz247), is "Better late than never."

These photos were taken this past Friday on a trip to visit my gramps.  There's much to say about this incredible man who faces piles of trials with smiles, but for now, I'm simply going to share the pics and devote another entry to him at later time.

This one's for Maria....

Lake Winnepasaki 

 

Side view from Gramps driveway.

 

Water damage along his road from last week's storm.

 

 

Your Monday Photo Shoot (a day late!): Blue Skies

Inspired by many these last few days, to look beyond the cracked window, I bring to you my addition to:

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Blue Skies : Picture some blue, blue skies. Wide stretches of blue are the goal here. Fluffy clouds are great, too -- but try to get the skies mostly blue. Interesting stuff in the foreground is groovy, too.

 

 

Tags: blueskies, lake sides, Monday Photo Shoot

Got Love?

(Double journal alert... please forgive =) )

"... See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."
--Gretchen Kemp

I found this quote in a journal just now...  A journal that I have never visited before, but one I will surely visit again.  Within it's pages lies a collection of beauty ~ photos, inspiring quotes and needful reminders.  In this particular entry, 100 quotes on love filled my heart as well as the page and I was reminded, once again, that life is full of surprises and dreams waiting to be fulfilled.  Hope, if allowed, will live forever in the hearts of any who need it.  And who doesn't need hope?  If not now, then in a moment...  Wait...not yet......now.

I haven't written in quite some time.  Not for any particular reason, just that well, life gets in the way.  I shouldn't allow for that too happen ~ not for as long as I have, anyway.  I have been struggling a bit, in my mind and in my heart, and it's hard to put those feelings into words.  I tend to keep quiet when things are a bit too much.  I close up shop for a time, so to speak.  What I am finding is that there is a time and place for everything, but since there is so little of it really, wasting it just shouldn't be an option.  Still, there ARE times when it's hard to face reality, and even harder still to move forward, but there isn't really much of a choice now, is there?

I did a silly little bit of a survey the other night and sent it out to, oh, a dozen or so others...  One of the questions was:  What is the one thing you wish to do before you die?  The answer, for me, came fast and easy.  I want to fall in love.  So completely, so beautifully, so dearly.  I was surprised to see that many people seconded that answer...  Is it truly such a common hope?  Such a longing in the hearts of so many?  One answer really got to me, though.  It made me sit back in my chair and reflect for quite some time....  He answered:  Live.

Living life the way it's meant to be lived is no simple matter, is it?  We do not know how much time we have, and yet we go about our daily routines from the moment our eyes blink in the morning's glow until the night beckons rest, and perhaps we managed a laugh or two that day, or felt a warm hug or the quiet presence of someone close.  Is that enough?  Shouldn't it be?  Did you miss it?  That moment of living that passed by so quickly? 

Don't miss it tomorrow.  When your eyes blink in the morning and you rise to greet the day ~ go with love in your heart.  Love for life.  Love for yourself, and love for others.  When you give, you shall receive. 

I chose to share the above quote tonight simply to store it in my own memory, to look back on in years to come.  The journal entry itself spoke volumes.  There is more to "falling in love" then meets the eye.  Perhaps it is truly not as hard to accomplish as I had once thought.  Perhaps it is found merely in living.  How simple, how beautiful, is that?

 

Looking Up

Ah yes, the true me...  (thank you for the enlightenment, Maria! LOL)

SCORPIO:. The sex addict

Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future.

Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want.

Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships.

Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 

Sex?  Am I missing something here?  :o/

Okay, that was just too funny not to post...  Won't be using my rare talents anytime soon, I'm afraid! 

It's been an incredibly long time since I've clicked on that little "happy" emoticon up there...  Fortunately, I have found many reasons to be happy lately.  Happier than I was allowing myself to be, anyway.  Everything ~ well, for the most part, is going very well for me.  I have always tried to look at the bigger picture in life, the overall grand scheme of things.  What I see now is that perhaps the picture I thought I needed to envision was in fact not at all the picture that I was meant to see.  Is it possible, that what the future holds is so bright that I've been completely blinded by it's sheer brilliance?  Shielding my eyes, or quite simply ~ turning around and walking away?  Without even realizing it?  I've been going through the motions for so long now, that I haven't TRULY taken the time to let that brilliance in.  To feel it deep within my soul and to believe with all my heart that it's light and warmth is meant for me.

I've been trying really hard to focus on all the positives, and yes, some days are, quite frankly, a hell of a lot easier than others.  I have obstacles, like you, and you and even you...  That helps, you know.  Not feeling alone.  I have a great support system around me.  My family is behind me and supporting me in this decision.  My friends are SO thoughtful and encouraging.  My work is very fulfilling in some ways, yet it's just as important for me to realize that I will be needing to broaden my horizons, especially if I'm going to stay where I am.  Which is what I would like very much to do.  It's just something I have to consider if I'm going to make it on my own somehow.  And I will, because with two amazing children relying on me, there is simply no other choice and I am proud to step up to the plate for them at all times.  I will be stronger, happier and more at peace with myself than I have been for longer than I care to think about. 

I've been attending church again (they don't know I'm a Scorpio...) as well as taking some time for myself to enjoy some activities with friends.  I've been taking time to just sit and read or listen to MY music!  I've also been listening to the people with whom I am closest to, because they will tell me what I need to hear as well as the things I DON'T want to hear sometimes, because they love and care about me. 

I am laughing, and playing with my kids more.  I'm taking time to just "be silly".  To have a pillow fight, or chase each other around the house!  I must say, I am SOO flippin' ready for spring right now...  It was 23 BELOW ZERO with the wind chill today.  It's supposed to warm up by Saturday and be in the 50s.  I don't mean to wish the winter away.  I mean, being a true New Englander is appreciating the beauty of all four seasons for all they are worth...  I just need to feel that warm breeze and breathe in the sweet scent of new beginnings...

I do appreciate all the kind and encouraging words I've received, both here and elsewhere during some of those darker days ~ and everyday.  It means more than I can say.  Especially since many of you are going through some difficult times as well, and that you've reached out to me does not go unnoticed.  It is a true blessing.  Thank you all.

HUGS!

Thankful

With a little inspiration from Gretchen in Savannah, here are my thanksgivings today, this "Thankful Thursday"...

1.  I am thankful that the air is warm and sweet today.  A reminder that spring ~ new beginnings ~ are just around the corner.

2.  I am thankful that Mailee's 103.3 temperature is gone and that she is happily playing in her room as I write.

3.  I am thankful for every minute that my heart feels lighter, yet stronger.  Vulnerable, yet protected.  By me.

4.  I am thankful for each day that those I love and hold dear are kept safe, healthy and free from life's burdens.

5.  I am thankful for friends who help me see more clearly what, in fact, I should be thankful for.

Thank you.

 

 

Day By Day

 

The sun is shining so beautifully today ~ creating a dazzling display of glitter across the newly fallen snow.  We received about two feet over the last couple days and now that winter is truly upon us, we can play in some serious snow piles!

This has been a major time for reflection for me.  I am learning so much about myself.  I am learning that while I have many moments of weakness, I am stronger than I had originally believed.  I am finding that the hardest first steps can lead to a much more peaceful and calm way of living then I had dared hope for.  My girls are handling things much more easily than I had originally thought they would.  As sad as it is to say, they very rarely saw their father, which has in fact made the transition much more bearable for them.  Yes, they are sad.  They miss what they would have loved to have had.  So do I.  It simply wasn't meant to be.  In a sense, things are moving forward just as they always did.  The three of us, the girls and I, together always and seeing each other through each day.  Smiling.  Laughing.  Living.  And each day I feel more and more at ease with him gone.  I am feeling free from walls I had built up around my heart.  I am hoping to live a fuller, happier and more meaningful existence.  Life is so precious, and so very, very short.  There isn't enough time to be wasted lost in a void. 

Yes, there will be moments of darkness, but I am strong enough to let those moments pass through my heart and carry on.  There will be tears and frustrations, fears and worries... followed by revelations, renewed hopes and the warmth of those who stand close by, ready to catch me when I fall. 

I must give thanks to all of those who have passed through here and stopped to wish me and my family well.  For thoughtful comments, conversations, emails and cards that have brightened my days and seen me through many nights.  YOU ARE ALL special friends and I am very lucky and blessed in so many ways.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

Michelle

Away For Now

I'm taking a moment to let all who pass by here know that I am needing to turn off my alerts and make better use of my other journal for a time.  Life altering events are taking place right now, and I am unable to keep up with my alerts.  I had a full mailbox when I came online today, and I needed to delete them all.  I hope to be back here, but it probably won't be for a while, and wish to encourage those who know of my other journal to visit me there, and to welcome anyone who wishes to please email me for a link.  I will be visiting your journals as time permits, and wish all of you well each and every day.

I hope to be back soon!!

Michelle