(note:  the subject matter in the following words may be difficult depending on your personal experiences and/or beliefs.  i hope i don't offended anyone)

I think it was my senior year in high school, when I took a class called Death and Dying ~ or something sounding morbidly similar.  It was one of those Human Relations classes, that bridged the various cliques and personalities together in a way no other class could.  I remember certain classmates, who I never would have made contact with outside of the classroom due to differences that today of course, seem (and probably are) irrelevant.  Many times, the majority of us would walk out of that room a little more sensitive and empathetic to each other than we were when we arrived.

I recall one class in particular ~ one that pertained to the whole grieving process, that struck a chord in me which still chimes now and again some twenty years later. 

Tears stung many eyes that day, as many of us had already experienced such a loss in one way or another, but it was also uplifting in a sense, and that is what I'm thinking about today. 

I can still picture our teacher, Mr. Wood, standing in front of the class and demonstrating how the body is like a glove for the soul (of course, this was his own personal take on the matter, and I have to wonder if such a display would be considered inappropriate today). 

Holding out one hand (the soul), he placed the other over it (the body) and stated simply that, when we die, our body "slips off like a glove" and our soul is then free.  A simple idea, but where I went with it in the afterglow has been and is still very meaningful to me. 

Our physical being is a magnificent thing.  We are all different and our bodies don't always look, work or feel the way we would like them to.  Young or old, there are many who struggle physically in one way or another and that can have a pretty profound and lasting effect on who we are and how we feel on the inside.  Our bodies may delight, deceive, burden or strengthen us to an astounding degree, depending on circumstances within or beyond our control.  If we are lucky, in most instances those we are in physical contact with treat us kindly and lovingly ~ or, at the very least, respectfully.  But sometimes, it's when our souls  are deeply touched that we feel it the most, and I'm starting to wonder if that isn't what it's all about in the first place.  Our time on earth is so very brief, in the grand scheme of things, and sometimes, that thought scares the hell out of me and keeps me up at night. 

Other times, it thrills me to no end. 

So, friendly readers, may your souls be touched and well guarded in countless ways for many, many years to come, and your gloves be worn with beauty and grace. 

That's all for now.....  ;o)

With Striking Contradiction

The storms in NH seem to get progressively worse year after year.  This past Thursday, a tornado ripped through parts of the state leaving 11 towns in a state of emergency, one person dead and dozens injured.  One town that was affected, Ossipee, is a mere five minutes from my grampa's house.  When we called to see if he was okay, we found him sitting on his breeze way drinking tea and watching the storm pass by.  His thoughts are, that at 92 years old, if his house goes ~ he's going with it.

But thank God, he was fine as was his little old house in Union, NH. 

 

I wrote of spring in my previous entry, because I had started the painting that accompanied it at that time, and it still seemed fitting.  I wrote the poem this morning, as another storm passed by and the sun began to peek out from behind the dark clouds.  One thing you can never quite count on in NH is nature's consistency!

Things have been incredibly busy and I've unintentionally neglected many journal friends over the past few weeks.  As it so happens, I'm between chores at the moment and have to head out in about two.  I will try to visit you all in the days to come.  I have a new job that I'll be starting tomorrow, one that will enable me to keep my job at school and still continue working there part time on the weekends throughout the year. 

Hope all is well with each and every one of you.  And that many happy summer memories are being made.

 

Spring Serenade

In the sacred hush

of early morning dew

when spring serenades her

earthly realm

and butterflies dance on 

angel colored wings

a heart opens

like delicate tulip petals

warmed moment by

precious moment

in sun's everlasting love 

 

chelle  2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Colorful Calm

 

Just as the rainbow promises Hope after the rain, so does a garden in bloom.  If you'd like to see mine, please click on the smilebox creation below.  My images seem to be too large, and some of the petals are cut off, but so be it....  :o/

AOL won't let me post albums any longer ~ Something to do with my browser.  I'm assuming it's the change in computers and nothing else.  No, I haven't gotten a new one and most likely won't be getting one for a while.  For now, I'm content (grateful, really) for the use of my daughter's. 

Speaking of my daughter....  Thank you, for the kind and supportive words I received after my previous rant.... uh, post.  Of course, things settled down and improved greatly as that particular evening went on.  Just recently, she pointed out that she tells me things her friends would NEVER tell their parents.  THAT, my dear friends, is good to know. 

I also have another vehicle now, so the problem is mostly just financial at this point.  I have two catering jobs coming up and another possibility or two in the making, so for now, I'm doing okay. 

Life is good.  I've been enjoying it lately, which is a plus.  Let's hope it stays that way.

Hope you enjoy the photos ~

 

Make a Smilebox slideshow

To Top It All Off....

"So, are you going to have a car tomorrow, or what?  'Cuz H. wants me to come over, and I need a new charger for my cell phone since you ran over it with the vacuum cleaner, and we want to do something else, and ....."

Somebody stop me......

This, at the end of a day I've been struggling to ignore. 

I guess it's too much to ask, that my teenager be appreciative of all that I've done for her this week.  The money I spent getting the paint she wanted for her room (even though technically we're not allowed to paint the walls here) and the time I took to help her finish it.  The camp-out I planned for us (more money), with all the fixin's for a night under the stars.  The one we are supposed to be at right now, but aren't because after packing the car all up this morning, it died again.  This, after spending half of what remains of my summer funds to have it fixed just days ago.  This, after spending the day trying to think of something to do to make up for it.  THIS, just moments after coming in the door from walking 3 miles to and from Dairy Twirl so her little sister could have an ice cream cone (and don't think for a minute I didn't have one myself!).  Not to mention everything else that's gone wrong this week.

I'm just plain pissed off ~ and I rarely write when I'm pissed off.  Shocking, I know.

She's in her room sulking now, because I asked her to get up off the couch (for the first time today) and pick things up a bit.  She's been sleeping in the living room since we finished painting, not wanting to over-exert herself and get it done with. 

I AM the meanest mother in the world, you know.

I understand she's disappointed about a lot of things right now.  So am I.  The difference is, I'm finally allowing it to show.  Consider the rules broken. 

Thank you, I feel much better now. 

::sigh::

Acceptance

When our hearts are willing and able to accept what is and what is not, there is a feeling of Peace that transcends even Hope.  I've always believed that without Hope, all is lost ~ but what I'm finding is that Acceptance is much more essential to a healthy outlook on life ~ among other things. 

Of course, we all have hopes and dreams and goals.  We MUST!  Each one gives meaning and purpose and color to our own personal journey through time.  One should never be without them.  

But sometimes our hopes are not answered.  Our dreams are not meant to be.  Our goals are not reached.  That doesn't necessarily mean that we have failed, but simply that Someone has other plans. 

I am learning to derive a great amount of comfort from that.  Notice I've said "am learning" and not "have learned".   It's a process, really.  One that works and sometimes not so much.  I was inspired by comments left in my previous post, to share these thoughts.  Yes, most of the time, my priorities are in order and my outlook is as it should be ~ Acceptance has a great deal to do with that...

That, and summer breezes.

 

 

Summer Breezes

Summer is always filled with adventure of some kind.  I always start out by thinking of it as my "down" time.  My "me" time.  A (paid) break away from the classroom.  A time for my kids to take a long trip away with their dad (already home, safe and sound).  Time for a bit of leisure and time for my hobbies.  Maybe a few days here and there, just hangin' by the water, soaking in the sun....

::cough::

As it turns out, summer has been and will continue to be an adventure all right ~ and a costly one.

First my desktop pc crashed and burned.  I've decided NOT to pay the $800 to get it fixed, but instead have my hard drive copied onto disk for $99.  As much as they can fit onto it for that price, anyway... 

Then my car broke down.  I found out Friday that it will cost about $1,200 to have it fixed.  I've looked into trading it in, but I still owe so much on it that it makes no sense to even consider doing that for more than five minutes.  I've had to cancel my trip to Maine with the girls and drain my savings account to a meager existence.  .

THEN my camera started acting up again ~ just in time for the 4th of July, of course.  I was so excited (and READY, dammit!) to attempt some half way decent fireworks shots, then I find those same distorted zig zaggy lines I started seeing a couple months ago (they were gone again yesterday, btw... ::sigh::).

So what might seem like a rant to most of you reading this, is actually more of a thing.  Just a "thing" I'm going through ~ making life a little more challenging in some ways right now. 

But what I really want to share is how little any of this really matters.  Not only is there a flip side to each of these situations, there is also something much more powerful and extraordinary than any financial pitfall I have fillingmy plate. 

My girls are happy.  I am happy.  We are all healthy.  Thankful by day and comfortable by night as we sleep.  I'm finding new and creative ways to (hopefully) earn more money.  I feel the warmth of love and the fulfillment of peace in all that I do and all that I face each and every day because of the presence of family and friends and loved ones by my side. 

Summer breezes ~ take me away.

Enjoy yours, if you are able.

Peace,

Chelle