Monday, March 2, 2009

The Final Rose ~ The Heart Gets In The Way

I did something really foolish.

I had my cable turned back on.

Every so often, I'll realize how ridiculous it is to be paying the same amount to keep my electric running as it is to keep my TV going.... I've been rather content for the past few months, not to have that hefty cable bill delivered to my mailbox. Not only that, but it sure is a lot more peaceful in the house without that background noise. Noise that I'm hearing right now, as a matter of fact. Just because.

So the first show I happened to actually watch rather than just listen to had to be The Bachelor. The final rose episode, of course... When after weeks of living with all these women and dumping one or more week after week, he finally makes that fateful decision between the two women he's chosen as his final two. Heart-wrenching shit, let me tell ya...


I cried like a baby, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I mean I AM ashamed to say that I cried over such a sensationalistic show. However, I'm NOT ashamed to say that I cried because , well, I'm an emotional woman after all and a good cry can lead to resolving internal issues and can cleanse a soul. At least that's what I've always been told.

Interestingly enough, the man changed his mind. I mean, really. He THINKS he's chosen "the one", you know? Sure as the sky is blue, he made the right decision at the time. Then life.... Well, we all know about life and what THAT can do...

So he breaks things off with his first choice and breaks her heart much in the same way he broke the other lady's heart the first time around. And THEN, tells the other woman in front of the entire world, that he made a mistake, loves and has always loved her, and wants another chance. Of course, her feelings have never changed because, well, she had fallen in love with him as it was. And those sort of feelings don't just stop overnight. Or at all, from my experience.

So, when do we know? I mean really. People fall in and out of love every day. Following your heart one way on this day, may mean following it in an entirely different direction the next. Not even days... sometimes months or even years go by before our hearts lead us in directions and to places we'd never imagined or thought of or realized existed. When the heart gets in the way of all that we know, all that we THINK we know ~ it can shake us to the core. It can also lead to happiness beyond anything we've ever known. Exciting? Fulfilling? Terrifying? All the above. Just do it. Don't let yourself get so caught up in the have to's and the must do's, or the why's and how's. Just love. Just live. Life offers no second chances. Just follow.