Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Feeling Hopeful...

This week has started out better at work.  I decided to be assertive in communicating with the teachers in both of my classes and it has helped in giving us all a better understanding of what is expected and needed for all involved.  Monday got me talking when I was asked to sit across from her instead of beside her and 5 minutes into the circletime she had both shoes off, her name tag torn apart and her new sweater mom had bought her for school pictures wrapped around her sweet head.  So, of course I kept my distance as I was told, but I was aching to help her out of her bind!!  Anyway, thank you all of you who commented and gave encouraging words...I am pretty confident in this area of my life, and I am sure that as time passes, this too will get easier.  I am trying to be patient!  I was with the same student for 3 years so these kiddos are new to me...and kindergarten is such a new concept for any of them!  I have 2 field trips to go on this week, so the next few days should be a lot of fun.

Mr. B has been home on his 4 days off this week...it's been so nice for all of us.  He has cooked us dinner 2 nights in a row, has cleaned out our storage and closet areas and is helping with pickups from school.  The girls sure love having him home.  Restaraunt hours are so horrible...and he works 3 weeks in a row before having his time off.  They never see him during that time, as they leave for school before he awakes and go to bed before he gets home.  Not to mention my feelings of handling it all alone most of the time....wait, I'm not complaining.  I actually like knowing what needs to be done and doing it.  But, it is nice to have a little help once in a while.  He sure works his butt off though.  I have my off days about this, as do the girls, which is the hardest part.  But we've been doing it for 12 years...

Well, I'm off to bed.  Long trip to Fort #4 tomorrow..



Friday, September 23, 2005

Para Woes

I really haven't written an entry of personal content for a while...once school starts my screen name kicks in and life is once again spinning!  I'm back to work, the girls are working hard and busy after school with activities, friends and homework.  I'm also teaching Sunday school and all those youth activities have started as well.  This on top of the normal day to day laundry, cooking, housecleaning.....well you know.  It's all fun for me, but by the time I am allowed to relax, I generally fall into a deep slumber....             

My school year has started out, well, pretty different in the classrooms that I am working in.  There are the same challenges of course, and some different.  It's not so much the challenges with the students I am assigned to, this kind of challenge I am quite accustomed to.  It can be difficult to know sometimes what is expected of me by the classroom teacher.  I have a child in kindergarten with mild retardation and Downs Syndrome and really she is like a 3 year old.  I have fallen head over heels for her and thoroughly enjoy working with her, but I've been told to back off.  That she needs to do more for herself.  Actually, I thought I was doing this, but apparently her case manager, has said I'm letting her depend on me too much.  First of all, kindergarten started only 2 weeks ago, and I have never worked with this little cutie and I haven't a clue as to what she is like, nor was I given one.  Also, her case manager has only been in one time for about 10 minutes, so she certainly isn't getting the big picture.  Today during our class greeting song, the kids had to stand and get in line as we sung and even though I was sitting next to her, the teacher skipped right over me so I wouldn't be next to her in the line as we sang.  She put me at the end.  All the kids of course noticed and shouted out, "What about Mrs. B?"  She just kept right on singing...

My morning kids don't even want my help....

I guess it was a crappy day.  I'm glad to be home.

Wow...I'm really going on and on rambling.  There's so many more incidents, but I really must stop.  I'm just going to go on doing what I think is right.  I had a phone message from our music teacher the other night thanking me for being with the kids in music and that I'm wonderful, so I'll just keep replaying that message over and over again until I feel better.


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

2nd Place Poetry? WOW!

There are times in life when we all feel unloved, unappreciated and just plain lousy.  That's what I have felt quite a bit today.  Until....

I decided to check my email!

I recieved second place in the Poetry Dance for my poem "Summer's Sun Kissed Cheeks"  *see last entry.. (It says "Lips", but that's ok!)  I AM loved!!  I really am so shocked.  I even thought there might be a grammatical error in there...someone liked it, anyway! 

I am always my own worst critic.  I put myself down and see all the flaws as if they were painted with bright green glowing paint.  That in itself is one of my biggest flaws...see?  I'm doing it again.

Thank you to all the judges who voted for my poem.  That had to have been a very difficult job.

Thanks to Auburndawn for Poetry Dance.  It has really forced me (gently) to dig a little deeper and write something creative again.  Something I haven't done since high school.  (80's)

Thanks to all who have sent me thoughtful condolences in emails...I appreciate every one of you!  All of you are wonderful!!


Sunday, September 4, 2005

End of summer poem for the Poetry Dance challenge.  This is just for fun, mind you.  I just logged on and haven't even thought of anything yet, so give me a moment.....



Summer's sun kissed cheeks

Fading to a milky glow

Moon shadows dance on trees

And silently waits for snow

Scented candles fill my breath

The lonely beaches mourn

For little feet to scatter 'round

For flowers to be born

Beautiful colors floating down

To waiting cherub hands

Summer's over it is true

But autumn has it's plans