Monday, May 24, 2010

The Plan

I've decided to go back to school.

Well, not 'back' exactly.... I never went in the first place. Graduating high school with my class in 1988 was nothing short of a miracle, and even though I was accepted at a Fine Arts college in Miami, FL (another miracle), I was sure I'd fail and disappoint my parents. I just knew that about myself back then. School wasn't my thing.

Isn't it ironic, how I ended up where I am today? Working so closely with students who would most likely say the very same thing about themselves. And at such young ages! Thankfully, we know better and know more now than they ever could have back then. I love being able to help these kids and I will miss many, MANY things about my job. But the time has come, to stop working seven days a week and stop struggling to make ends meet month after month. It'll take time, hard work and lots of self discipline. It'll mean giving up what I love because it doesn't pay the bills. It'll mean working part time instead of 45 hours a week so that I can get my degree in two years. But it will pay off ~ and we will be better off ~ in the long run.

Here's the plan:

Between fall 2010 and summer 2011, I will be taking prerequisite classes (algebra, physics and anatomy) in order to begin as a full time Associates of Science in Radiography student at a local community college in the fall of 2011. Job placement at one of our area hospitals is guaranteed upon graduating. What I'd really like, is to continue with certification in Sonography and be an ultrasound tech. That's my long term goal, but a goal, nonetheless.

I'm excited and scared and filled with hope.

And incredibly, that's just the beginning.

Monday, May 3, 2010


How unusual.

I haven't written in ~ what has it been? Months? Years? Then suddenly the urge strikes and here I am. What used to be a regular part of my online experience has all but dissolved into a distant memory. Backburnered and kept. Not forgotten but unfortunately neglected at best.

I'm not going to write about why I have or haven't written ~ and to be honest, I'm not even sure myself what that's all about. Out with the old and in with the new (Facebook being the latest 'in') has never really been my style. I've thought about writing on countless occasions.... Letting ideas twist and turn and eventually ease their way out of my thoughts and into oblivion. Life is busy. Facebook is less of a process and more of a way to connect on a simpler level, rather than to share all the juicy details that make up this life o' mine. Plus, you get to play cool games and become a fan of this and that like nobody's business and why not? Beats folding laundry ~ or airing it out to dry for all to see. Heck, some do that no matter where they cyber-dwell.

So, let's see... Where did we leave off? I haven't looked back, but I sure am looking forward, so maybe that's where my focus should be from here on out (assuming there will be more to come). I had dreams which have turned into hopes and are almost certainties. I have goals which now seem more like probabilities than possibilities, if I can just believe in myself the way others believe in me. I have priorities in (hopefully) their rightful places now, even values and morals that have been questioned (mostly by me) and reexamined and readjusted because THAT'S who I am and how and why and where the hell did I go wrong? And why for so long? Serious soul searching going on here lately.... But it's all good and real and right. As life should be. Focus, michelle. F O C U S.

Family is well and good and sometimes complicated. The girls are beautiful young ladies now... When and how and why did that happen?! They make me so proud and thankful and lucky and blessed and I love them more every day.

Still here. Still there. Still, still, still... And yet, everything is moving forward. Change is in the air. It's spring, in case you haven't noticed. And we all know what that means.

I have so much to say I don't know where to begin.