Saturday, April 30, 2005

Happy Birthday M!!!

Happy B-day sweetie!!  We are in the wind down stage of the party day...girls are taking time to be together as sisters.  Hanging out on the floor, opening craft gifts and sharing the fun.  What a day.  I can't believe my little girl is 8 years old.  Where has the time flown off to?  She was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the end of the party.  10 screaming, singing, dancing girls was a bit much for our little place.  They had fun though.  They painted wall tiles to take home and played pin the pants on spongebob, musical present, and Karaoke.  M decided that next year she might not have such a big group.  Maybe just a small sleepover or something.  All the kids had fun though.  Just too loud!!

We'll our pizza just arrived, so it's off for now.  BBL


Monday, April 25, 2005

nothing inparticular

ok...I have changed the look a little bit in here.  I know, I know- a bit extreme.  But hey, a little extreme is fun sometimes, right?  I have to make this quick - I have to help M dry her EXTREMELY long hair.  She can almost sit on it!  Just wanted to drop in on you all and do a little spring touch up. 

I had a nice week off from school with the girls.  One of the very many pros of working in school - having time off together.  It is definetely an added bonus!  I had some nice one on one time with my miss A (preteen mentioned in previous entry).  I took her shopping for her first razor and shaving gel and I taught her how to shave properly (although, it's been a while since I've actually DONE this, it was a little blurry lol JK).  She has been asking for a while.  Then she helped me cook dinner and with other chores!  She said it was fun doing these things - maybe now she will be into helping me more often.  It's nice to have times like those.  She seems happier lately, which is always a plus. 

Well, my neighbor just came over to talk for a few, so now I really have to run!  It's past M's bedtime and we still have to dry that HAIR!!  Night!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The Poetic Preteen Years....

Well,  I must say, I am not sure I was as prepared for my daughter's preteen years as I thought I would be.  Mom says, "payback's a @#%$^!"  Thank you mom for those words of encouragement. 

My first born daughter is 11 now.  I am so tangled in a web of emotions!! (And SHE'S the one going through this age of awakening!)  I thought for sure I would know what to say to make her feel better.  That she would always know that I am here for her.  Trouble is, she doesn't want me here.  I can't say a dang thing right. 

I am a fixer.  Always wanting to solve the problem.  Or at least give some good, sound advice.  I don't know when to shut up and listen!!  Yet, there are times when she can't hug me enough!!  That's when I know she is still a little girl, struggling into adolesence like the rest of her friends.  Her FRIENDS!  Ha!  I pray she will let go of the whole Being Popular thing.  She has always had lots of friends.  Now she is getting teased for being "teacher's pet" because she always gets high marks.  So now she has to feel inadequate for doing her best.  ERRR!!  Oh yeah, and now she thinks she is getting fat.  OMG!!  Did you see the pic in my last entry?  I try to tell her that she is a beautiful person inside and out and that she only need to concern herself with being healthy.  But, these FRIENDS tease girls that are going through this inbetween stage of growing.  "Look at so and so, she waddles when she walks!"  This is painful....

Well, I am probably going way over the top by allowing my daughter's struggles into my public journal.  I guess I'm hoping for someone who has been there to  tell me that it's going to be alright!  My hubby and I have not had the best of weeks and I am probably worrying more than I should be about my precious first born.  Quite honestly, I do believe it's her little sis who is going to give me the biggest challenge.  SHE is a stubborn one!!  I love them so much and want them to be happy, as any parent does.  Does anyone watch Judging Amy on Tuesday nights?  Last night when Amy was crying her heart out to her preteen daughter about how scared she was I cried myself!  (I am waterworks about mom/daughter issues.  As you can tell.)

Well, I have to go.  You know who has just risen from her cave and wants to enjoy my company now.  Yeh!!!   One point for me!!  BYE

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Well, hello!  It's been a while.  I guess that big interview wore me out!!  I have decided to get brave and post a picture of my girls.  I am still a little skitish about this.  I figure all of you smart people out there (that means YOU) are doing it, so it must be ok.  This was taken....well maybe around February because A is wearing her sweatshirt she got for her 11th birthday in January.  They are my everything.  I want so much to be healthier and in better shape to keep up with them!!  We went to the playground today and there was one of those dreaded merry go round things.  The one where you run and push it then hop on and hold on for dear life....Well, they were on it and this big dad came and pushed them very fast.  M was losing her footing when all of a sudden she was holding on and her legs were out to THERE like a kite in the wind.  I stood up and off she flew.  WHAM! on the ground.  My damn heart was lodged in my throat.  I ran to her and she jumped up and walked away a minute.  She HATES having people looking or paying extra attention to her (unless she is looking for it...)She said "IM OK!" and jumped back on the stupid thing.  ERRR!  Shortly after that though she came over to me and sat against me and quietly said she wanted to go home.  So, here we are all safe and sound.  Thank GOD!  I thought for sure she broke her back the way she fell....

Well, we did it...we finally have confirmed everything for Disney.  Flights, hotel, tickets all that.  I can't believe it.  I won't until we are there.  I'm really quite nervous.  I'm a bit fanatical about this sort of thing.  I worry about all the little details.  I'm sure once we are there I will be fine.  We got a pretty good deal overall, so this is good.

I guess that's it for now.  Maybe I'll have time to add more tomorrow.  It's been such a beautiful weekend!  I love spring!!! (that much closer to summer vacation!! Don't get me wrong I love my job,  but I love summers with my girls even more!!!)

                                       GOOD NIGHT!!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Bridgette' Journal interview game

This is an idea from Bridgette's Journal.  She started an interview game in J-land where a fellow journal writer can just ask away.  The following is my interview questions and the rules of the game if you are interested....


So, here goes, starting with the rules because every game has got to have them you know.  Leave me a comment saying "interview me".  The first five to leave a comment requesting to be participants will be interviewed.  I will respond by asking you five questions.  You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.  You will include this explanation and off to interview someone else in the same post.  When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.  (Write your own questions or borrow some) Fun and easy, right?

1. What inspired you to start a journal on aol?

Well, I have always been a journal/diary writer ever since I was in grade school.  I recently bought this PC after a long absence from the internet.  I did not have aol before and when I stumbled upon the journals I thought, hey this is really a fun way to get some thoughts out there and meet some others both like myself and not like myself.  My husband works crummy hours and I thought I might make some new friends as well...

2. What advice would you give to a new mom?

Try to relax.  Don't be afraid to ask friends/family for help.  Sleep when the baby sleeps.  Get out in the nice weather as much as you can.  I have always been a firm believer in not letting my children cry when they were babies.  I know a lot of people disagree with this method of "spoiling" a child, but I truly feel it was the beginning of our trust building.  They are only babies for a short time....why not hold them, coddle them, "spoil" them?  (other than the whole sleep idea which can be a problem when the baby can't get themselves to sleep....)

What is your greatest accomplishment?

This has to be my kids.  And it's far from over.  So far, I think I have done a pretty good job at raising my girls in this crazy world.  I am for the most part the soul caregiver - not to lessen their dad's care, but he works these awful hours 11am-10pm  and he works I am the do all mom.  I have my weaker moments, but I feel the girls are growing into wonderful young ladies and I am trying my best to do right by them.  They take the credit, but I feel most confident when I'm doing the Mommy thing.

4. If you won an enormous amount of money in a lottery, what would you most want to do with it?

That's hard.  Finances have always been a particular difficulty for us.  I know I would want to give back to our church, which helped us out when my husband broke his back 2 years ago and was out of work for 4 months.  I would give some to Special Olympics which I have interest in because of my occupation (special ed. paraprofessional) and I would give some to research for Alzheimer's Disease which is slowly taking my nana from me.  I really have a dream to own our own home someday so my kids can have their own yard, a dog...the usual.  So I have to say I would buy a home!!

5. Above all, what else would you want people to remember about you?

I would want to be remembered as the kind of person who cares about others.  That I was dedicated to my family and that I loved working with kids who faced great  challenges in life and that I could help them overcome them.  I love that I mean so much to my students that I am blessed to work with.  I love that they run to me from across the playground and hug me tight like I am their best friend.... It makes those moments of struggle all worth it!!


Friday, April 8, 2005

Well, this is going to be a pretty uneventful entry.  This week we were all healthy for once.  Until today that is.  My sinuses are not doing well.  Anyway, I'm not complaining...yet!  The girls are getting really busy.  M is practicing with me for t ball and A is already starting softball.  I am not going to like missing games if they both have one on the same night.  I guess anyone with more than one kid has to juggle schedules.  I told A that I will have to be there for her sister because A has done team sports before and this is M's first time and she is 3 years younger.  A will have to get a ride from a friend.  Still, I will really feel like I'm missing something....(and I will be)  Probably her first homerun or something!  These are the times when I really hate my husbands hours at work.  He misses sooo much. 

Not much is really going on these days.  Oh!  We just booked a trip to Disney.  I may have talked about that before...I have a bad memory.  The kids are very excited.  Now if we can only save enough money to have some fun while we are there.  We will stay at the Disney All Star Movies resort.  If any of you reading this have been there and have some vacationing advice, please give!!  I've been to Disneyworld - once as a  kid and once as a young adult, but the kids have been asking to go for years.  We DID take them to Disneyland when they  were 2 and 5 while we were visiting my inlaws in LA, but that was a disaster.  It was a battle just to get someone to take us who knew where to go, and we didn't leave their house until like 10:00 am and then we got lost and didn't even get there until 1:00 and THEN M was sick and throwing up (sorry) the entire time!!  That was NOT fun....

Well, M wants popcorn with her movie, so I will go make some and settle in with her.  A is spending her evening alone in her room....This age (11) is very interesting...  Night!

Monday, April 4, 2005

Feeling blessed

For a while now, I've been wanting to change my little cynical "All About Me" section in my journal.  Everytime I ventured in to add an entry, I would read that and think- gosh, that really sounds negitive.  I'm not an unhappy person....(I did finally change it, before it said I was generally happy unless I think too much).  I have my moments, as I'm sure we all do.  I sometimes sit in this tiny condo feeling self pity because I know we will probably never own a home, my husband works 11 hours a day and never sees our children, I'm tired, stressed, you name it.  Then, I take a good LOOONNGG hard look at what I have and I am deeply ashamed of myself.  Everywhere throughout the world, there is true sorrow and pain.  People lose loved ones, either through death or through a horrible accident or illness that leaves them an almost empty shell with a soul attached.  Homes are destroyed.  Or there are million dollar homes that are full of unhappiness because there is no love, or worse, abuse.  I have two absolutely beautiful, bright and talented daughters.  I have a husband who is devoted to us.  He may not be here physically as much as we would like him to be, and he might not be as emotionally there as I would like him to be, but he loves us and takes care of us.  Always bringing home extras before we even need them and taking us on fun vacations every year.  He never puts me down or disrespects me.  Sometimes It just seems like we are so distant - like we don't have much to say anymore.  We never really had a whole lot to say.  It could be for many reasons.  My husband is from a different country, has a different culture background and speaks a different language fluently.  But I do love him. 

We have a small, yet comfortable home.  It's been our home for 7 years.  It's the only home our kids have ever really known.  They like it here....We have a POOL!

We have had our share of heartbreak and sadness.  We have our everyday stresses.  But damn!  Life IS really good.  I will try not to take it for granted.  I pray every night and say my thank yous.  I hope I will remember to just breathe when I need to.  To close my eyes and let those negitive feelings out.  And when it really feels bad, I hand it all to Him.   Good night everyone....and SMILE.

Sunday, April 3, 2005

Well, the girls both got over their illnesses finally.  After a total of 6 days out between the two of them, we are ALL ready to go back tomorrow.  I DID have to take M to the Dr. today though....she has an infected fingernail from too much biting.  Second time.  And today she had a karate tournament this morning.  I wasn't going to let her go, I was afraid it would get worse and go into her bloodstream or something awful.  She felt she was ok, so I let her.  She recieved a silver medal for her Kata and a bronze for Kumite(sparring) in her age group/rank.  We are very proud of her!  It was a lot of fun.  I can't believe how quickly they are growing up.  Last night was the dance recital for the Company that my older daughter was in.  This is the first year she decided to not dance and try other things.  They wanted her there like 13 hours a week.  Which is what it's  always been, but 2 of the nights were 5:30-9:00, which I felt was rediculous and so did she.  Her ankles were always hurting, too.  I was worried.  This year was much calmer with basketball and now softball, but last night we were leaving the recital and she said she is definetely going back next year.  ERRR.  I have to admit, she is one of those kind of dancers that is just natural up there, like it's in her soul.  We will have to see....

Well, I haven't much else to add today.  The girls are getting impatient to go to Nana and Papa's house for dinner.  And I'm finally getting a much needed haircut.  Hope everyone out there has a happy week.   :-)