Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The Poetic Preteen Years....

Well,  I must say, I am not sure I was as prepared for my daughter's preteen years as I thought I would be.  Mom says, "payback's a @#%$^!"  Thank you mom for those words of encouragement. 

My first born daughter is 11 now.  I am so tangled in a web of emotions!! (And SHE'S the one going through this age of awakening!)  I thought for sure I would know what to say to make her feel better.  That she would always know that I am here for her.  Trouble is, she doesn't want me here.  I can't say a dang thing right. 

I am a fixer.  Always wanting to solve the problem.  Or at least give some good, sound advice.  I don't know when to shut up and listen!!  Yet, there are times when she can't hug me enough!!  That's when I know she is still a little girl, struggling into adolesence like the rest of her friends.  Her FRIENDS!  Ha!  I pray she will let go of the whole Being Popular thing.  She has always had lots of friends.  Now she is getting teased for being "teacher's pet" because she always gets high marks.  So now she has to feel inadequate for doing her best.  ERRR!!  Oh yeah, and now she thinks she is getting fat.  OMG!!  Did you see the pic in my last entry?  I try to tell her that she is a beautiful person inside and out and that she only need to concern herself with being healthy.  But, these FRIENDS tease girls that are going through this inbetween stage of growing.  "Look at so and so, she waddles when she walks!"  This is painful....

Well, I am probably going way over the top by allowing my daughter's struggles into my public journal.  I guess I'm hoping for someone who has been there to  tell me that it's going to be alright!  My hubby and I have not had the best of weeks and I am probably worrying more than I should be about my precious first born.  Quite honestly, I do believe it's her little sis who is going to give me the biggest challenge.  SHE is a stubborn one!!  I love them so much and want them to be happy, as any parent does.  Does anyone watch Judging Amy on Tuesday nights?  Last night when Amy was crying her heart out to her preteen daughter about how scared she was I cried myself!  (I am waterworks about mom/daughter issues.  As you can tell.)

Well, I have to go.  You know who has just risen from her cave and wants to enjoy my company now.  Yeh!!!   One point for me!!  BYE

7 comments:

sistercdr said...

My journal would be about half the length it is now if it weren't for mother daughter issues.  Not all of them are rhapsodies about how much I love her.  I swore that I would be there for my daughter during these painful years of puberty and adolescence, and I have been, the best I've known how.  However, it doesn't stop the pain, and I've come to realize that they have to go through it, just like we did.  If they don't go through it, can they really grow up?  I don't know, but I do know that every day is an adventure that tests my wits, my heart and my courage.  It ain't easy, but I wouldn't trade it.

hillareeday said...

I don't have any daughters of my own, but I do try to counsel with my fifth grade girls that are on this same emotional rollercoaster. I told one girl yesterday that when she is feeling moody just remember that she is going through some changes of growing up and so is everyone else. Sometimes my girls get so upset when one of their friends gets quiet or seems mad or upset. They think they did something wrong! I just try to remind them that it most likely doesn't have anything to do with them. They are just trying to sort out these new weird feelings!
Tell her to do something that relaxes her like running, dancing, listening to music, writing in a journal or doodling.
We are getting ready to have the "big talk" in fifth grade and honestly I think it will really help ease some of the pent up stress from this hormonal upsurge.

jewellynn2 said...

I remember that age..I thought I was fat and was insecure but I was actually skinny. I think a good father/daughter relationship is key in growing up with security and confidence for a little girl. I understand the worry as a parent when a child is teased. My little boy is only in 1st grade and kids call him chubby and fatty now! It infuriates me!!! I try to build his confidence but he is so hurt by their comments. Kids, as we know can be very cruel and hurtful to each other. They don't think about the consequences of their words! I don't know what to say or do either. I just constantly praise him and compliment him. We love our children so much and want to take their pain away. I wish society was not like it is but as we know, especially as adults we live in a world that strives for "perfection". Diets everywhere! Sex sales...models on billboards...plastic surgery..etc! Your daughter is beautiful and little bitty! Supportive father helps I think! TTYL sweetie.
Big Hugs,
Stace

kissofvanity said...

Wow, i can sure relate to this.  They say that children are dogs, and once they become adolescents they turn into cats.  Sounds like you have an emerging cat on your hands.  I know--i have one, as well.  My third, actually--i've already gone this route with my two older kids......who are both slowly turning back into dogs.  Whew!

Ana  ((0.~))

demandnlilchit said...

Oh just wait Momma your in for a bumpy ride, just tell her you love her all the time, give her permission not to like you when the teen years hit, tell her you probably won't like her while she's a teenager but someday you will be good friends again! Experience talking her from me being the wild child, to having been through 2 of my 3 daughters wild years and one more plus a lil boy to get through too! My Mother said the same thing to me that yours did to you and yes paybacks are a (#$&@(#* lol  Keep writing it helps! Thanks for visiting my journal and leaving a very nice comment on my daughters voice! Ü

justaname4me2 said...

Welcome to my world. I have just recently jumped into the world of actual teen 13 year old daughter, and my younger one is now 10. It is painful and frustrating. Just keep the communication lines wide open. I think sometimes Mom's make the mistake of trying to be friends with their daughters rather then just plain old Mom. Be the Mom she knows she can count on and that should get you through the rough times. As I embark on these coming teen years I'll admit I'm a bit terrified. If my own mothers words come back to haunt me I'm toast! I was not the ideal teen myself. But on the other hand, my daughters shouldn't be able to get away with half the stuff I did, because I'll KNOW what signs to look for.
Rebecca

judithheartsong said...

hang in there!!! judi