Saturday, February 17, 2007

Day By Day

 

The sun is shining so beautifully today ~ creating a dazzling display of glitter across the newly fallen snow.  We received about two feet over the last couple days and now that winter is truly upon us, we can play in some serious snow piles!

This has been a major time for reflection for me.  I am learning so much about myself.  I am learning that while I have many moments of weakness, I am stronger than I had originally believed.  I am finding that the hardest first steps can lead to a much more peaceful and calm way of living then I had dared hope for.  My girls are handling things much more easily than I had originally thought they would.  As sad as it is to say, they very rarely saw their father, which has in fact made the transition much more bearable for them.  Yes, they are sad.  They miss what they would have loved to have had.  So do I.  It simply wasn't meant to be.  In a sense, things are moving forward just as they always did.  The three of us, the girls and I, together always and seeing each other through each day.  Smiling.  Laughing.  Living.  And each day I feel more and more at ease with him gone.  I am feeling free from walls I had built up around my heart.  I am hoping to live a fuller, happier and more meaningful existence.  Life is so precious, and so very, very short.  There isn't enough time to be wasted lost in a void. 

Yes, there will be moments of darkness, but I am strong enough to let those moments pass through my heart and carry on.  There will be tears and frustrations, fears and worries... followed by revelations, renewed hopes and the warmth of those who stand close by, ready to catch me when I fall. 

I must give thanks to all of those who have passed through here and stopped to wish me and my family well.  For thoughtful comments, conversations, emails and cards that have brightened my days and seen me through many nights.  YOU ARE ALL special friends and I am very lucky and blessed in so many ways.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

Michelle


9 comments:

nhd106 said...

Michelle, what a beautiful, hopeful and heartfelt entry.  It sounds corny maybe...but I am so proud of you!  I've so enjoyed watching you open up your heart...and continue to share your wonderful "reflections" with us.    I'm glad to be on the journey with you.
Love,
Nancy

lanurseprn said...

What a beautiful entry. Well said!
Pam

mariebm56 said...

I wish you & your girls a peaceful transition.
Great entry, love the above waterfall, Donna did great!
{{{hugs}}}
Marie

radar446 said...

I knew that you were stronger than you gave yourself credit for being.  Sounds like things are starting to get better.  For that I am very thankful.

Greg

jckfrstross said...

have a great weekend:)

Deb

bobbysgirl8584 said...

Stay strong Michelle...I am thinking of you!! Know I am here if you need me.
Maria

queeniemart said...

i love you and wish you PEACE, HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT.  When i was 33, i am now 38, i began a search to find those 3 things. I am still searching. You are a wonderful mom and friend.
love,lisa

ksgal3133 said...

It will be hard in the beginning and major readjustment. So many prayers and hugs headed your way!

Gretchen
http://journals.aol.com/ksgal3133/LivinginSavannah2

ssparkyl1 said...

       
  Hello  MY  Dear Daughter

                                         Don't Give Up

                   if you've tried and have not won,
                   never stop for crying,
                   All that's great and good is done
                   just by patient trying

                   though young birds, in flying fall,
                   still their wings grow stronger,
                   and the next time they can keep
                   up a little longer

                   though the sturdy oak has known
                   many a blast that bowed her
                   she has risen again and grown
                   loftier and prouder

                   if by easy work you beat
                   who the more will prize you
                    gaining victory from defeat--
                   that's the test that tries you!

                            All