Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Mom's The Word...

I was unable to post an entry on Mother's Day, for a variety of reasons, but none that I want to give any energy to at this point.  I do so regret not writing sooner about someone so dear to my heart as my best friend in the world...  My Mom.

I can't recall a single day in my life when I didn't feel that my mom was my best friend.  Oh, I'm QUITE sure that I uttered a few, um... let's say, unkind words to or about her during my teenage years.  But truly, she is the only one in my life who has stood beside me in ALL my life's choices.  Even the ones that she knew were surely the biggest mistakes of my life. 

She would always say to me, "No matter what, Michelle...  I will always love you and hope for your happiness."  And not only say it, but mean it genuinely as well. 

When I was very little ~ even though mom read to me and sang to me each and every night before I said my prayers and drifted off to sleep ~ I had horrifying nightmares and wet the bed every single night.  Not ONCE, did mom scold me.  Never did she hint even a single shred of impatience.  She simply told me it was okay and would quietly remove my bedding to be washed, even as she had to hurry off to work each day. 

Mom has seen me through so much in my life.  When I was in my early teens, I was a mess.  Much like I am today, but only with more drama... (::exaggerated eyeball roll::)  I was very depressed, often suicidal, flunked out of freshman year, took drugs, turned Goth, and TOTALLY freaked out everyone around me.  Including my exasperated parents who had absolutely NO idea how to reach me.  And overall, for many years, I was just plain nasty.   Mom did everything she could to be of support to me.  She did my hair all funky for me (she's been a hairdresser for 40 years)and she let me wear whatever clothes I wanted and argued with my dad in my defense...  NO easy task.  (just for the record, I was "normal" again by the time I turned 18, so I AM relatively safe to be around!)

And through it all, I told her everything.  She made me feel safe with whatever I was feeling.  She had always stressed, from as far back as I can remember, that communication is the key.  That following your heart is the only way to go.  That true love is unconditional.

One would think, with all I am going through in the marriage that is crumbling at my feet, that all those words and lessons were taught in vain...

Better late than never, mom.  You are the wind beneath my wings.

Thank you.


I hope all mom's out there had a WONDERFUL and SPECIAL day! 




siennastarr said...

Michelle, what a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your mother..   I hope she gets a chance to read this, or if she doesn't have access to your journal, that you will send it to her.  I'm sure it will mean the world to her.

I know you're going through a lot right now, but keep your head up, sweetie..  It will get better..  

Happy Mother's Day to you too!  Or at least I hope that it was a good one!

Hugs and love

barbpinion said...

Hon, having been through what you're going through I know how hard it is, how much you hurt. But thank GOD, for your awesome Mom. This tribute is precious, just as YOU are.

ssparkyl1 said...

My Dear Daughter' as i read your journal with tears in my eyes, it is so special as you are to me. I hope to lead you over the tips of waves of up and down of happy and sad times. You are the best hilight of my life. I feel so fortunate to have you my best friend and may God be with you and give you the happy life you so deserve.   With the deepest Love from my heart    Mom

lanurseprn said...

I love that you wrote this....but I really love that your Mom read it and commented. You both are so blessed in this life.

inafrnz247 said...


She is currently typing one handed, too!  



stupidsheetguy said...

Please don't tell anyone...but between reading your entry and your Mom's comment, I needed to "brush the eyes" a little. This was absolutely wonderful. And "Mom", if you happen to come back and peek at the comments section, I think you have a really great daughter.


radar446 said...

A heartfelt entry like this doesn't need a specific day or holiday to be made.  I don't think for a minute that "all those words and lessons were taught in vain" is those words and lessons that have helped to give you the strength to make the right decisions in life.  Whether those decisions were becoming "normal" again by 18, or realizing that your marriage was no longer what you had signed up for all those years ago.


helmswondermom said...

What a nice tribute to your mom.

queeniemart said...

i thank God you had a mom like you wonderful you are! Is she adopting middle aged girls? lol

love,lisa jo

ksgal3133 said...