Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Catching Up

             

It's been far too long since I've really written here...  Sure, I did the Christmas and New Year's entries, and I've shared a few pieces of me here and there, but I haven't really been here.  My body has been here, sitting in this same chair every night for I don't know how many days in a row, but my mind, my spirit, has been elsewhere.  I am happy to report that I am back, and I hope to find more time to share my thoughts as well as visit and comment more in other journals.  I've been reading, I just haven't commented as much as I would like to.  It was hard to find words for others when I was unable to find words for myself for so long. 

So, here I am.  Feeling well and finding peace within that I know has always been.  Sometimes it's just so much easier to see and feel it than other times.  Isn't that life?  Oh, yes... this beautiful blessing called life...  When is it NOT complicated?  When is it truly all we wish for and dream of?

And what has been going on in my life lately?  Well, there's work, which is continuing to go well, even though for a while I honestly thought that I was going to have to stop working.  Yeah, I felt that bad.  What I have found (and have known all along) is that children are little angels...  To have a job where you walk into a room and you are surrounded by bright smiles, hugs as warm as the sun and "guess what's?" and "You're so pretty's!" when you feel like crud inside is just so incredibly heart warming...  And when you come home to much of the same from your own children (well, most of the time, anyway... but they ARE normal), it's hard to imagine that life seemed so bleak just yesterday, or so many days before that... 

Amanda's 13th birthday is in a week.  Almost a teenager...  ::dread::  I must be completely honest here, though.  She is a wonderful daughter.  Even as she moves through the phases of natural growth, with funky mood swings at every turn (she IS her mother's daughter!), she is beauty and grace and a lovely example to her little sister.  More so now than ever before.  She is VERY excited to be turning a page into teenage life.  I have reserved a hotel suite for her and her friends to celebrate.  Complete with a fireplace, whirlpool and indoor pool as well.  It's a two room suite, so I'll actually have my own space  and they will be able to have a little privacy.  She was SO sweet saying that I was more than welcome to hang out with her and her friends, so not to feel left out.  She told me I was an awesome mom.  Wow...  Seriously.  I was, and still am in shock.  Personally, I look forward to a night out, and even if I stay in my own space the whole night reading my book, It'll actually be a night to remember!  I DO need to get out more, I know... 

I have more to say, but will save it for another entry.  Thanks for sticking with me and for commenting on my shorter entries.  Specifically the ones regarding my Rose drawing.  I received the charcoal pencils and sketch pad for Christmas, and I am finding time (with a great deal of effort... TIME?  What a concept!) to draw again which was always a wonderful outlet for me in the past and I am currently working on some others which I hope to share in the future, if I think they are at all worth sharing!

Take care, and stay safe!

Michelle

 

13 comments:

radar446 said...

Hey....guess what????   You're so pretty.  You know I could not resist doing that.  Good to see you back writing here.  I'm also very happy still that you are creating art again.  That forces you to have quality "me" time...now there is a concept.

Greg

jckfrstross said...

Have a good week:)

Deb

siennastarr said...

Michelle.. I know how that goes.  That feeling of not feeling like leaving a comment because you don't even know how you feel about yourself, much less trying to sound coherent to others.  I do that same thing now and then, but I still try and leave a comment, because I feel so guilty if I don't! lol   I'm weird.

Kids sure can be a blessing can't they?  Both your own, and the ones you teach.  Out of the mouths of babes..  

I'm glad your coming around and feeling better about your life and yourself.  I'll be looking forward to your next entry! :)

Hugs and love
Jackie

cdittric77 said...

Glad to see you posting, Michelle. I know how you feel. Sometimes we just don't 'have it' and there is nothing wrong with that. Stick by your guns, girl :)

Charley

nightmaremom said...

I know about them 'blahs' too... glad you're coming out of it...
hugs
d

queeniemart said...

Sometimes in life you go to express yourself and can not come up with words....but friends will always be there for you. I treasure your words and kindness and am so glad we have met thru J Land.
I am so excited for your daughter AND you! You get some ME time and she will have such good and safe fun with her friends!
love,lisa

nhd106 said...

What a heartfelt and honest entry...I really enjoyed reading it.  Glad to hear you're coming back out of whatever it was that you were feeling enveloped by.  
Hugs,
Nancy

redsneakz said...

I'm floored and happy that your daughter wants you to be included in her party.  She is a special child of a special mom.

justaname4me2 said...

Michelle,
This was a wonderful entry. I'm glad you came to write out how you were feeling. Keep writing, even in those down times, I know it helps me!
As for your daughter turning 13, don't worry, she sounds like she already has a good strong foundation and she'll do just fine. My oldest is turning 15 the first of March and she's still doing wonderful much to my amazement! For some reason I though when she turned to a teen her head would start spinning and I'd have to perform monthly exorcisms :o)
It's all good, it's all good,
Rebecca

ksgal3133 said...

I'm glad that your finding peace.
13....that's a milestone for a kid and for a parent! She sounds like a lovely daughter :)

Gretchen

a2002v2002 said...

Awwwwww hugsssssssssssssss, glad it is swinging around for you. GOOD!
Ann:)

rbrown6172 said...

what a wonderful birthday gift for your daughter!  how sweet of her to invite you to join them as well.  i think you are doing a great job in raising two daughters.  :)
gina
http://jouranls.aol.com/rbrown6172/ginasspace/

stupidsheetguy said...

Good to see you getting back on track, doing all the things you like to do. I really liked your idea about the birthday party, she'll remember that one for a long time to come. I hope you get some more free time on your hands, I like your sketches.

Jimmy