Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Thirteen years ago today, my life was blessed with the most precious gift.  A most beautiful and healthy baby girl.  My life changed in the most amazing way, and I realized for the first time who and what I was meant to be and do.  There was very little else in my life that was right at that time, but I knew beyond any doubt, that I was going to be the best mom that I could possibly be.  Oh, I was scared... Don't get me wrong.  This little bundle was resting ~ butt first, folded in HALF (picture legs hugging ears...) and the umbilical cord had firmly placed itself around her little neck.  And yet, somehow I just knew.  I knew that she would be just fine, and I would be, too.  I just figured that she simply enjoyed a little challenge and was already planning to prove herself in her first moments out from the comfort, safety and warmth of my womb. 
Pure joy...  That's all I can say about my experiences as a first time mom.  Everything seemed to fall into place as far as she and I were concerned.  Nights were generally peaceful...  I nursed her for the first year and often fell asleep and awoke with her in my arms.  As she grew, and reached every milestone far earlier than the books had all said (and believe me, I read them ALL!) I loved and adored her more each and every day.  I played Mariah Carey and danced around my living room with her in my arms.  I sang to her several times a day.  She smiled, she laughed, she crawled and took her first steps at 8 months, walking steadily only two weeks later...
As time went on, I knew that this daughter of mine was special.  Everything she touched turned to gold.  Every opportunity she had, she would learn something new and excel in it.  She was reciting her ABCs at 22 months.  She was reading at age 4.  And this little one could dance...  Oh, my goodness.  At age 6 she joined a dance competition group and for five years dazzled all with her talent and beauty.  She was given a full scholarship for two of those years because they could not bear to see her go, even as we were no longer able to pay the hundreds of dollars a month for lessons, costumes and competition fees.
She is a caring and watchful big sister to Mailee.  She tries not to like her, I mean, she can't ADMIT to liking her, but I know she loves her deeply.  Mailee gave her a card that read,  "You're better than an angel on my shoulder....   You're my sister."  Amanda didn't know that I saw her pick up this card several times this evening and look at it.  I see a friendship developing between them as they grow older, and it truly warms my heart.
And she is a the sort of friend any other child would want to have standing beside them.  An acquaintance approached me a few days ago to tell me how Amanda stood up for her daughter when she was approached by a rather mean-spirited classmate at school that day.  Amanda had taken this young girl aside as she cried inconsolably and told her jokes and made her laugh.  She didn't care if the other girl or anyone else was watching.  She gently lead her out of the room and took her under her wing. 
On this day and every day, I wish you always to dance.  To never stop hoping, dreaming and reaching for the stars.  To never settle for less than what you deserve in life, and above ALL else, follow your heart.
Life is never without moments of struggle or pain, but what always shines through the darkness... is love. 
I love you, Amanda.  Shine on, sweet daughter of mine.
Happy Birthday!
In my daughter's eye's
I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
Everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light
And the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
Gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

When she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh, it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what love is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you'll see
How happy she made me
For I'll be there...
In my daughter's eyes

In My Daughter's Eyes   By Martina McBride


a2002v2002 said...

How lovely! Wonderful read for my evening, thank you!

dklars said...

A beautiful tribute to your daughter!

lanurseprn said...

What a beautiful entry.  Thank you for sharing this.

jckfrstross said...

Happy Birthday to your Daughter Amanda:)


radar446 said...

And a very happy birthday to Amanda.  She is so lucky to have a loving and caring mother like you.


queeniemart said...

what an absolutely beautiful tribute to a girl who i KNOW is much like her mom. I had tears in my eyes at the end. Thank you so much for sharing this!!
love,lisa jo

queenb8261 said...

What a beautiful tribute to what sounds like a beautiful child..inside & out.  This is something you need to print.  Then put it away for her to read again on a special occasion.  Her 21st birthday, her graduation day, wedding day or perhaps on the day she gives birth to HER first daughter.  Happy Birthday to  your little girl.

stupidsheetguy said...

In a world where drama is king, and being a decent person suddenly seems to be socially unacceptable, I can' tell you how nice it was to sit and read such a heartwarming love letter from Mother to Daughter. And seeing how she got such a great start in the arms of such a loving mother, there is little doubt as to why she is growing to be such a lovely young lady.

I hope she sees your journal entry, but even still. I don't think she has to read these words to understand them and feel them.

I have a 13 year old daughter myself, and I hope that I can be 1/2 the parent you are.


bobbysgirl8584 said...

what a beautiful entry; I have loved every moment of being a Mom...even the most stressful moments. Those first were special...I remember them so well too.
Happy bday to Amanda!

stupidsheetguy said...

I just had to come back and enjoy this again.

ksgal3133 said...



helmswondermom said...

What a wonderful tribute to your daughter!

redsneakz said...

One day, when I grow up , I want to be able to talk about my children the way that you do.

justaname4me2 said...

Daughters are pretty amazing aren't they!!!
This was a beautiful testament to the type of Mother you are and the type of daughter you have.
Thank you for showing us such beauty.