Saturday, March 25, 2006

Differences

                                                                                           

 

 

                         

That Tiger of mine is best of friends with Murphy the goldfish.  She wouldn't dream of drinking from her own bowl, it's not "fishy" enough..... yuck.

Just taking a break from watching a real "grown up" film to post.  My girls were both out tonight.  One is home now, and happily watching Disney channel, so my movie is postponed until later.  It's quite good.  North Country is about women miners in 1989, when there was a male/female ratio of about 35 to 1.  One woman is sexually harrassed terribly as are the others, but no one will go against the men harrassing them except this one woman, who gets nailed big time for it.  It's based on a true story, and is well worth seeing.  I can't imagine facing this concept....working in a school where there is only 5 male employees (including the custodians), I find my workplace very comfortable and the few men are treated with as much respect as any staff member.  We are gaining a new principal next year, a man, and we are all looking forward to having him.  He is currently the American Embassy School principal in India, and has been an American Embassy principal for two decades.  It will be very exciting and interesting to see where he will lead our school.  One thing I am sure of.  It is a wonderful place to work, male or female, and I want very little, if any, change.

Being half of an interracial marriage has taught me many things.   About differences and how the human race views our differences.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I could never begin to understand how others feel when they are treated badly because they are different, for whatever reason.... I have never been in a minorities shoes when they are treated unfairly or misjudged.  I have never felt what it's like to be stared at because I have a disability, even though I am learning how difficult it CAN be, from working with children who have disabilities and witnessing it first hand. The closest I can come to that is being in Chinatown with my family, and I am one of the only caucasian woman, and I have biracial children.  Sometimes I get the stares, or WE get them, because we are different.  I often wonder what they are thinking.  Most of the time, all the comments we recieve are non-racial, with compliments on how beautiful our girls are, or how well behaved.  This was, of course, before they grew and became firecats, but anyway....moving on.  Other times, I can almost read their minds by the looks on their faces.  Like, "OH look at her....who does she think she is?" or "look at those children!  How do they know what they are??"  Then I get steamed up inside.... but I let it go.  I let it go because I know that we are teaching our girls to know WHO they are, which is the most important thing.  That it's okay to mark both circles on the forms that ask their race, even though it says mark just one.  That we are many of us full of differences.  Different nationalities, with ancestors from different places.  I may be white, but I am part Irish/Scottish, and french/Indian!  That celebrating holidays from more than one culture is a thrill to share with family and teach friends.  Even teachers!!  That WHO we are matters most, and HOW we are, and HOW we live is what we take with us always...  That everyone deserves to be treated with respect, despite our differences or sex.  Whether it's our skin color, hair color, ability or non ability, height, weight, looks, fur...  Or scales.  We are one under God. 

In the grand scheme of things ~ we are simply a box of crayons.  Let's celebrate!

 

                      IF ONLY IT WAS THAT EASY!!!

 

                                    

 

Thursday, March 23, 2006

                                    You Are Jan Brady Brainy and a little introverted, you tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is.
And while you may think you're a little goofy looking, most people consider you to be a major babe.

                                          Which BRADY are YOU?

                            http://www.blogthings.com/whatbradyareyouquiz

            All true, minus the brainy babe bit...

"They" understand me so well.  Things appearing so bad all the time, ya know?  Drama queen ~ Moi? Oh, yeah!

I haven't been posting for a while.  I've been thinking about why I have been shying away, spending much of my online sneak away moments surfing stumbleupon.com and IMing with my mom.  Haven't come up with much, I'm afraid.  I guess I just needed some time away.  Knowing I should focus on what's important to me a lot more than I have been lately, I've been trying to make an effort to stay positive.  Searching for signs of spring, and actually finding them is uplifting.  Feeling blah just isn't cutting it.  Life is WAY too short.  

Well, on to life here... Amanda has been home sick for 3 days.  Developed a stomach bug Monday night and has had an upset stomach ever since.  Just in time for Growth and Development class!  She was clever!  But oh, I am all the more clever!  I borrowed the video from the school nurse!!  We watched it together and now I'm afraid she is never going to want to go back.... I'm so torn between pushing her to move around and try to do things (not sure what this stomach thing is really about) and letting her stay home on the couch, missing much of her daily work.  I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Mailee...what to do with that girl.  She is SO damned stubborn and intense sometimes.  She can be very rude to me and hurtful.  She yells at me on a daily basis.  Yet, in the next moment be such an angel.  I love her to pieces, and want her to be kind and caring, but even her teacher notices a change and she is "following" a trio of, um, let's just say "challenging" girls.  But last night, OMG!  She had her 3rd grade chorus concert at school.  She was supposed to sing this very difficult song with two other girls who just happened to be sick.  When they were called up to the mic to sing, I didn't think she would, but she got up and walked alone to the stage, took hold of that mic, told her music teacher that she wanted to do it, and blew the house down!!  I'm serious!  I was so proud, and she was so proud of herself... another teacher was there that is not in her room and this teacher told her to sing for the rest of her life because she has a voice from heaven....  

I can't believe this school year is almost over.  Although it started out a bit challenging, I have grown to feel that it has been the best year that I have had since becoming a one on one para.  I love all the kids and I will be quite sad when they school year comes to a close.  I know I will be losing my little kinder sweetie, as she will be moving across town. She has come so far.  She knows almost all her colors now, is starting to read one sentence pattern books and is making J for her name!  These accomplishments are huge for her!  She is also much more social and loves school so much.  I will miss her TERRIBLY! 

Both of my girls will be moving up to new schools next year, as well.  One to upper elementary, and one to (UGH) Jr. High.  I must confess...I am NOT ready for this teenage thing.  If they are even remotely like me, I'm in big, big trouble.  I have faith, though, that when it's all said and done, my girls and I will be just as close as my mom and I are.  Well, at least there's a hope. 

HAPPY SPRING!!          (O:

 

 

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Panda Cam

http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/AsiaTrail/default.cfm?cam=LP2

If you love animals, you must check out these webcams from the National Zoo.  I have been watching the panda and naked mole rats!  Also the Amazon River cam, where you can view fish swimming around.  Okay, so I'm easy to please.  I'm a sap when it comes to animals.  If this panda didn't look so happy, I'd be ugly about it's captivity.  He as pleased as a pig in doo doo.  I hope the link works for you.

What a glorious prespring day.  The sun on my face, the grills aroma throughout the neighborhood... kids playing everywhere... I knew I was looking forward to something.

;o)

 

Friday, March 10, 2006

Thank you

Thank you so much for the heartfelt words, prayers and thoughts.  It really meant a lot to me, coming home after some very hard days to read your comments.... I'm so very grateful for friends and family and the closeness shared during hard times and happy times as well.  My nana had cried to us so many times to go home.         Nana....you are finally home.  I love you. 

Keeping it simple tonight.

love you all! 

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

IN MEMORIUM

      NANA

 

GONE, BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN....

   Summer 2005                         Nana blowing a kiss

 Nana's most favorite place to go was York, Maine.  She and my mom vacationed there together many summers until nana was diagnosed with ALS.  She loved lighthouses, walks on the beach and wearing her bikini !

 I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep

I am not there, I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain

I am the gentle autumn's rain

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight

I am the soft stars that shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and forever cry

I am not there.  I did not die.

Melinda Sue Pacho

 

Our last visit...New Year's '06

Gramps, Mailee, Dad, Mom

Amanda and our Nana 

Friday, March 3, 2006

INK BLOT TEST...

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    WELL, YEAH!  A bit of psycho-humor on a boring Friday night at home.  Wishing you all a great weekend with those you love!    <3 Michelle

    Sunday, February 26, 2006

    Sunday Ramblings

    It's been a great week off, for the most part. Of course, there were the usual issues between the girls, but it seems that they have been tolerating each other more.  I've been threatening to get a second job, including working during the summer, if they don't let up.  They really need to understand how lucky they are that I have the kind of career that pays little but has priceless benefits.  They are so wrapped up in the fact that dad is never around that they take it out on me.  And each other.  Regrettably, I suppose I often take my inner "stuff" out on them as well, when my patience is worn thin and they are pushing button after button.  We're in this together... it's time to realize this and be happy that we have each other.

    We went back to church today after a couple weeks of absence.  It happened to work out today that the basketball tournament ended with a game at 8:00am so we were able to make it.  Congrats go to my Amanda, who's team won the championship after a difficult season.  She was ecstatic!  It was wonderful to go to church without the cranky pants!  Our minister did a beautiful sermon about the light within.  I won't go on and on about it.  It was just so nice to see how he really included the children, leading them around the sanctuary holding an unlit candle, looking for the space with the most light... the kids loved it.  He had one of them stamp their light up sneaker.  Then of course he lit the candle and explained about the light within, the light of Jesus...the light they feel when they come to church, or when the sun shines just right on our newly fallen snow.                          

    My nana is nearing the end of her battle with Alzheimer's disease.  Anyone who knows anything about this horrific disease, knows it ends terribly.  My mom is so distraught, of course.  It seems as though it may end tomorrow, and yet it could be like this for years.  In her own place, curled up like a baby doll, lifeless and empty.  She can not speak other than to say your name.  The doctors/nurses are amazed by this.  She does not speak until someone from the family is in the room.  She says hello, speaks the persons name, and then is gone again.  As if to say, I know you are here, so don't say anything you don't want me to hear!  She's a snipity old lady with a mighty sharp tongue!  Well, she was anyway.  Everyone knew that.  It's so incredible that she still knows us. I love her so much, and I'm already missing the nana I knew...

    We are getting ready to go visit my parents for my dad's 61st birthday.  I have so much more I want to write about.  There never seems to be enough time.  I've been lazy about writing lately, choosing to keep much in my mind.  I hope you understand...I'm feeling quiet lately, and I'm not sure that it's a good quiet.  I have to stop and concentrate on that light.  It's there. I'm well aware that it is...I have to make a concious effort to see it, and feel it.  What PI$$es me off is that I don't know why.  It reminds me of that Pink Floyd song that I loved SO much as a teenager...Comfortably Numb.  Anyone familiar with that one?  Yeah, you know.  It makes me want to SCREAM!  I'm hopeful that this feeling will pass.  I thought it had yesterday, but this afternoon it seems to be creeping in again.  I hate being negative!  I want to live life to the FULLEST!  ERRR!!!  Perhaps it's my Thyroid condition.  I haven't been keeping up with the meds good this week.  Being out of school completely throws off my schedule.  You KNOW how I get when that happens!! 

    Well, off we go...we have to pick up the ice cream cake.  Maybe THAT will sweeten me up a bit!  I'm HOPING!!