Monday, February 4, 2008

Bell's Revisited

If you are new to my journal, you may or may not know that I had a major bout with Bell's Palsy over the summer.  I'm not going to drudge up the past ~ I haven't written about it in a while because I had reached the 90% mark in my recovery, and what was once a frightening and embarrassing disorder became more of an annoyance in my day to day than anything else. 

But in the past several weeks, I've felt things worsening.  For instance, when I forced the affected eye to blink (it doesn't do it on it's own), my mouth would tighten slightly on the same side. 

I've felt it more in the last couple days than I have in months.  When I make any sort of distinct movement with my mouth:  smiling (which is a blessing to even be able to do again), eating, puckering (at least my youngest still enjoys my kisses), applying lip gloss (cuz you never know when someone else might... ;o) ), etc., my eye closes almost completely.  It feels heavy all the time and my cheekbone feels numb.  It's making me tired.  It's making me mad.

I'm trying not to let it get to me.  If I do, I imagine it will only get worse.  If I end up like I was before...  Well, I am not even going to go there.  Perhaps it explains why I have been so flutter-brained lately and unable to think all that clearly. 

I guess more than anything, I am writing to document this little setback for my own records.  I have photos for all the phases BP has brought me through.  Hopefully, I won't have to take anymore for a while.

I am so very thankful for the many blessings in my life.  I am otherwise healthy and pain free.  I do not feel sorry for myself in the least, and I am confident that this will all go away in time.  I am GRATEFUL, for how far I have come ~ in so many ways.  

But boy, do I still have a long way to go.  Bell's or no Bell's.

Peace ~

Thank you Dianna, for the lovely tag!


ma24179 said...

What a terrible thing that you have to go through! I am really sorry.. I couldn't imagine.. -Missy

geminiwilder said...

Being that I am (farily) new around here, I didn't know that. I hope that if it is coming back, it's a mild case this time around. My mom had it more than once, and although it was a pain in the ass, she coped very well each time.

I find myself drawing some strength from your positive attitude, so for that, I thank you - for sharing your blessings with us.  When I have time, I will go back and read more of your journal to get to know more about the fabulous Chelle!

:)  xo Phinney

justaname4me2 said...

I really hope this is just a temporary, momentary, small bleep in the system for you. It's good to document, keeps things straight and later on you can recall for Docs if you need to (I know those pesky doctors, they want details, and degrees and nitty gritty)
Thinking of you,

radar446 said...

I hate to hear that you are having a relapse of the Bell's.  I had hoped it was just about done.  90% is pretty darn close...hopefully this will be just a temporary setback, and one that you will move past with a haste.


swferstl said...

Hey, Chelle...hang in there! And get your butt to bed!!! You're as bad as I am, up this late. I'm sure if you are feeling tired, it doesn't help you any physically, emotionally or mentally. If you are rested, you are better able to cope with the setbacks...
and know that there are those who care! :-)))
Keep the lip gloss just NEVER know!!!
hugs, sher (wunzuponatime)

lanurseprn said...

I hope it doesn't get really bad. Will be keeping you in my prayers.

kirkbyj05 said...

I hope you don't regress as it's not a pleasant ailment.  My friend had it for some months and needed eye drops in both eyes night and day as her eyes stayed open without blinking so that they dried out.  I hope you have some medication to help you with that problem.  I hope too that this is only temporary and that you soon recover 100%.
God Bless You.
Jeanie xxxx

ukgal36 said...

I sure hope it doesn't return full force...

rbrown6172 said...

so sorry to hear you're having a little setback...but attitude is so important, and i really admire your positive attitude.  hang in there!  i'll be praying for you.

queeniemart said...

will you call your doctor about this? Is there anything that can be done if it is worsening? I will pray today for you and for this to go away and stay away!!!!
LOVE, lj

mariebm56 said...

I must have missed your BP somewhere along the line....sorry to hear about your illness.  Will keep you in my prayers & hope you continue your positive attitude towards these little obstacles in life~

jimsulliv3 said...

My grandmother once said to me, "At times, we are tested." I really didn't understand it at the time but I'm starting to grasp it. Hang in there, sweets !


stupidsheetguy said...

I am so sorry that damned pest is still bothering you. I don't know too much about it other than knowing the two people in my family who slugged it out with Bell's made 100% recoveries, so I'll go with that wish for you, ok?
You're a trooper, and you don't complain because I'd almost forgotten that you ran into this; that's how little you've been talking about it.
Feel better. I know it will be behind you soon. :)

rdautumnsage said...

Hey you....(Hearing the lyrics to Hey Jude in the background) You know this is only a setback and you made it to 90% so I'm convinced sooner or later you will be back to the Bell's being nothing but a annoying rememberance..I do remember when you first talked about it and was wondering how things were going....

Just remember in the midst of it all...NOTHING can diminish that beautiful spirit you have dear one....Your bravery and courage in the midst of this astonishes me. I continue to keep you in my prayers on the smoke, not just for the Bells...but because your one in a million and I want Creator to keep an eye on such an amazing spirit...(Hugs) Indigo

peytonswater said...

Oh Sweetie, I pray it's not another attack. I had some minor feelings of a reoccruance  2 years after my big one, and it went away quickly as it came back, never like the first time, but it is FRIGHTENING and your right,,,smiling IS A BLESSING adn unless you have lost it, you have no idea.
IT may be hard, but you need to REST and RELAX right now, it is important.  I would also call the dr about steriods if you had sucess with them before.  I will keep you in my thoughts sweetie,

chat2missie said...

I can't imagine what that must feel like.  Sending you hugs!!

helmswondermom said...

I'm so glad that you have reached the 90% mark, because that is great!  But I fully understand the frustration you must feel about your eye.  It would probably drive me nuts, too!

gdireneoe said...

(((('Chelle))))  Hugs for your set back.  I've been gone (as you know), so I didn't know.  My cousin had a bout with it...very frustrating for sure.

Lip gloss?  Oh no no noooo, my friend!  Burt's Bees Champagne Lip Balm.  Try it. ;)  C.

peachykeeen said...

I had BP for five long months 8 years ago. When it left(finally!), I was left with residual effects as well. When I am tired my face droops, and when I suck through a straw my eye closes. Minor things, but still annoying nonetheless. I hope yours is not returning. Losing your ability to smile was so challenging. You don't really realize how much you use your face to communicate with people until you don't have it.

lifes2odd said...

I'm new here so I had no idea about what you have had to go through. I'm sorry to hear you are having further issues. I'm sure it's frustrating and scary. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Martha