Everyone wonders, or has their own personal beliefs about why we exist. Some are convinced we've been here many times, possibly hundreds, living out our destiny based on karma. Others believe we have but this one chance to get it right, and then must meet our Maker at the gates and await judgment. To tell you the honest truth ~ I have no idea. Of course I WANT to believe in something.. I mean, how can we go on when the going gets tough, if we believe that it's all just science and that when it's time, that's just the END? Please do not take offense if this is your belief.. I'm just thinking, as we all do when it's quiet and soft music is playing in the background to stimulate our senses...
I suppose it's BECAUSE I believe in something without really knowing, that pushes me on when it's easier to turn and walk away. Have you seen "Steel Magnolias"? I love the part when the wise, grandmotherly lady (played brilliantly by Olympia Dukakis) says the old familiar saying, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger". It certainly rings true during times of trouble, when all that surrounds you is sorrow. It may last a day. Perhaps a month. Maybe even a year. Or God forbid ~ an entire lifetime. Someone may have a debilitating illness, or chronic physical pain that robs them blind of their dignity and self worth. Others may suffer in abusive relationships at the hands of a spouse, or a parent who uses drugs. Quietly, others may simply suffer for seemingly no reason at all, as they battle with a depression that slowly eats away at their self worth.... now, wait... This isn't meant to be a sad entry. On the contrary, it's meant as a reminder.. To myself. To anyone reading this.
Pain seems to tear at your heart, and yet it is really helping it to grow and become stronger. I'm not sure where this is coming from... I certainly don't feel that strongly about pain being a "positive" aspect of life, and I do not wish to minimize anyone's suffering, because we all have it... Why? Well, I have to believe that it prepares us. Tests us. Pushes us. To stand up and fight. And when someone is told they have cancer, and they say "NO" and vow to fight, it means something.. whether they beat it, or not.
There are many shadows over our sunny days. Some are as small as the tiniest pebble, others can seem as enormous as the sky.
There will be days in all our lives, where walking away may seem like the easiest thing to do. When the battle just seems too overwhelming to be fought, and trying to swim upstream is just simply too tiring... I urge you to swim on. Or better yet, step out of the current for a moment or two, and check out the reflection... it may be more beautiful in the grand scheme of things than you have been allowing yourself to see.
If I can hold on to this thought for more than a day, I'll be doing alright! Thanks for being part of the journey.