Ahhh... To be strolling along the ocean shore right about NOW.....
So the last week and a half has been challenging at times. Dealing with this Bell's Palsy crap on top of all the other stresses in my life that probably LEAD to the disorder to begin with (unless you ask my acupuncturist, who insists the WIND is the culprit!) just wasn't how I envisioned my summer coming to a close. I won't get into sharing all the worries and the fears and the tears that overcame me in my weaker moments. I'll move on with the latest news and choose to keep this particular outlook for as long as possible!
There is no change in the paralysis. Although each day, I do feel something a little different and even that varies... Whether it's my ability to relax my face when I am still, or eat without biting my lip off. The "bum" side feels bruised in some areas, and I would almost contribute this to the acupuncture treatments (which I LOVE btw...), but won't due to the fact that my "good" side is fine minus the black eye (not uncommon or unwelcome, WHATEVER WORKS!!) I am still unable to smile, blink or twitch even the slightest. It's very frustrating at times, to stare into the mirror and put all possible concentration into making those muscles move... and nothing happens.
TODAY, the change that I have felt is something I am told is a good thing. I feel like bugs are crawling under my skin. Yeah. That's right. Every few minutes it's as if a million little creepy crawlies are invading my otherwise unmoving face! This, I was told, is a sign that things are moving around from going under the needles... That it's doing its thing and helping in some way. That's all I needed to know. Bugs or no bugs ~ I wanna spit out my toothpaste like a normal person! I'm also finding speech a little easier ~ a little less tiring perhaps. Just getting used to it, I guess.
My Doctor also called me today, which was very encouraging because she basically said at my appt. last week that there's nothing really to do but wait and see. She said that after we met, she had done some research of a past case she had a few years ago, where the woman used electrical stimulation of the nerves (::winking at Nance::) along with physical therapy of the facial muscles. She is going to call and refer me to a specialist in Neurology at Dartmouth Hitchcock Memorial and hopefully squeeze me in as early as next week. My insurance will cover this, unlike the acupuncture which I have had to borrow money to pay for.
Last night, I went to a get together with some friends from work. It was EXACTLY what I needed right now. Reassurances that I am okay, that I will continue to be okay and that I am cared for by so many. We laughed and joked until my face hurt and then ate a lot and drank wine as we watched Catch and Release. After having dreaded going back to work like this, I am actually looking very forward to it now. I'm looking forward to the warmth and the love that I receive as I walk through those doors each day. These kids know me. I will use this as a learning tool... Life throws curves sometimes. Sometimes you hit, and sometimes you miss. This is so minor, so manageable in comparison to the pain and struggles so many others deal with each day. How dare I look to the stars and complain, when I am so incredibly blessed in so many countless and wonderful ways?
May your blessings be many and your troubles few... Today and always.
(thank you Donna, for the tag!)