Thursday, May 11, 2006

One Foot In Front of the Other

I wasn't even going to go, at first.  I mean, really.... take an evening and do something for myself?!  UNHEARD OF!!  I am so engulfed in the "mommy mode" that even though M was off from work for his four short days this week and offered to do all the picking up and dropping off for me, I kept thinking about the two loads of laundry downstairs that needed folding.  Once that was folded, I felt like if I left, I was abandoning them to go off on my own for an hour or so and it just didn't seem right.   If it was to go grocery shopping, that would be one thing.  But meeting my favorite author and listening to her read from her new book over TEA was entirely another. 

Then I became angry.  I had planned to leave at 6pm, and as it came and went, I was just moping around ~ finding things to clean and looking pitiful.  How could I not go?  Sure, I could go see her some other time...she'd be back for her next book due out in March 2007.  She lives 10 minutes from here, I could run into her down at Mack's if I was lucky enough.  Still, what was nagging me most was WHY??  Why could I not let this happen?  Why couldn't I just walk out the freakin' door?  Why do I feel so guilty for allowing myself this small pleasure of meeting my favorite author?  I'm on my sixth Jodi book, Vanishing Acts, and it's so GOOD!!  I want to have conversations with this amazingly gifted woman!

So, out of the blue, I picked up the piles of clothes I had half folded, cast them aside, and GOT UP.  I announced to them, "IM GOING" made sure my husband knew what time to pick up A from choir, and headed out the door!!  I got in the car, turned of Disney Mania and blared Bob Country.  I turned off the cell and opened the window.  Can ya believe it?

I had so much fun!  Jodi was awesome, of course, and read a spine-tingling excerpt from The Tenth Circle, leaving us wanting more and of course I purchased it so that she could sign it.  I won a t-shirt for answering a question in a Jodi quiz!  I asked her questions and she is as engaging in person as she is in her words and gripping storylines. 

I just had to write about it, and give a big THANKS to my mom (even though she doesn't read this!)  my best friend who KNOWS me like no other and called to insist that I go.  I've been pretty negative in here lately and I'm happy to lighten things up and share something positive with you.  It's not a huge moment, but a small, simply happy one... 

                                          

10 comments:

bobbysgirl8584 said...

A few hours to yourself doing something you enjoy!! good for you Michelle!!!
glad you went and glad you enjoyed it.  We all deserve some "me" time and there is nothing to feel guilty about.
Maria

hillareeday said...

Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone! I am glad you had fun. You shouldn't feel guilty about having some "me" time.

cdittric77 said...

Way to go, Michelle! You deserved the time out!

Be well,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/cdittric77/courage

barbpinion said...

So proud of you for going. It is so hard sometimes for women to spoil themselves as they do others. I am so happy you went. HUGE HUGS, hon.
Love you,
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/THERESTOFTHESTORY
        http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

cyndygee said...

That entry made me feel SO good, Chelle!!!

It's one thing to be a good wife and mother . . .  but when you give up who YOU are for the sake of your family is when you become resenful, unfulfilled and unhappy.

HOORAY for you, for being your OWN person AND a great wife and mother.  
Hugs,
    Cyn
http://journals.aol.com/cyndygee/PositivePals

cherry2sweet2eat said...

glad you went and enjoyed yourself.

ssparkyl1 said...

/HI  I READ YOUR ENTRY   AND SO GREAT YOU GAVE FOR YOURSELF FOR  A  CHANGE.   DID TOU  KNOW TOP  TEN AMERICAN IDOL COMING TO MANCHESTER JUNE 6     LOVE   MOM

siennastarr said...

You deserved that!!  I'm glad you went, and had a good time!  Mom's need to get out and do things for themselves once in awhile.  I'm glad you "got up and went!"

Jackie
http://journals.aol.com/siennastarr/Waitingtoexhale/

akasamdodsworth said...

::smiling::  I am proud of you and happy for you Michelle.  There is no sin in being good to yourself - because ultimately being good to yourself allows you to be even better for and to those you hold dear.  This must have been a very special treat for you and I'm so glad you allowed yourself this small pleasure.

Rob

helmswondermom said...

Well, good for you!  Sounds like you had a great evening, and you deserve some "me" time!
Lori